Thursday, April 26, 2018

College student: I'm bi, should I tell my folks?

Q: I am a female university student. Over the past few months, I have come to realize that I am bisexual. So far, I've only ever dated men, though none of those relationships have been long-term. I'll be home on break soon. Part of me wants to tell my parents about this. The other part of me thinks I should tell them only if I do end up in a relationship with a woman. While I don't think my parents would disown me or have a moral problem with it, I do have concerns that they'll question whether or not I'm sure, or refer to it as "going through a phase." Every time I come home, my parents ask if there are any boys that I'm interested in at school, so I know the topic of my love life will come up. Would that be a good time to mention it? Or should I just keep quiet until a same-sex relationship actually occurs?

A: Separating from your parents and establishing a new, adult phase of your relationship with them can be full of uncertainties and disconnections. At your age, people aren't sure how much to share and how much to keep private from their parents. Given that your exploration has been psychological to date, I think you should keep this to yourself until you know more about yourself. You have anticipated your parents' questions and conclusions, so there's no reason to go through the exercise right now. Without having sought a same-sex partner, you yourself don't really know how you will feel when this idea becomes a reality. You are living away from home which means you aren't under daily scrutiny. So explore away, and wait until there's something more concrete to report.

Q: In the heat of an argument with my wife, I often detach from my emotions and try to look at what is happening objectively. This irritates her because she thinks I am both acting morally superior and not being objective because too often I side with myself. But if I can objectively pick apart and present both sides of my wife's and my arguments, and it turns out I'm right, shouldn't this help? If not, what is a better way of ending our arguments and stopping future ones?

A: It is gratifying to always be right, but for the sake of argument, I'm going to give you some phrases to use to try to end some of your marital spats in a more productive way. Try sprinkling them liberally, and see if your life doesn't improve: "I hadn't thought of that." "You make a good point." "That's a fair criticism." "I see what you mean." "Yeah, that's true." "You know what? You're right."

— Slate.com

Comments
The Daystarter: Federal court blocks challenge to Florida’s system of restoring felon voting rights; what goes on in that pink house?; Lightning playoff run drives business

The Daystarter: Federal court blocks challenge to Florida’s system of restoring felon voting rights; what goes on in that pink house?; Lightning playoff run drives business

Catching you up on overnight happenings, and what to know today.• Another sunny day today with high temperatures in the low 80s, according to 10Weather WTSP. Friday brings the possibility of rain, and the weekend brings the heat: Sunday’s high is in...
Updated: 0 minutes ago
The Iron Nun still going strong at age 88

The Iron Nun still going strong at age 88

TAMPA —These smart phones and computers and internet are big annoyances to Sister Madonna Buder.Every time she turns around, there's a message or a request or a question coming into one of her devices from somewhere in the world."What's all the...
Updated: 9 minutes ago

Pakistan says Indian fire kills 2 villagers in Kashmir

Pakistan's Foreign Ministry says Indian troops have fired across the border between the two countries in the disputed Kashmir region, killing two civilians and wounding two others
Updated: 1 hour ago

Report: Syrian troops break into IS-held Damascus district

Syrian state media is reporting that government forces have pushed into a Damascus neighborhood held by the Islamic State group from different directions and captured several building blocs and tunnels used by the extremists
Updated: 1 hour ago
European Central Bank head to sift mixed signs on economy

European Central Bank head to sift mixed signs on economy

Markets are waiting to hear Mario Draghi's take on the recent batch of conflicting economic data about where Europe's economy is headed
Updated: 1 hour ago
European Central Bank head to sift mixed signs on economy

European Central Bank head to sift mixed signs on economy

Markets are waiting to hear Mario Draghi's take on the recent batch of conflicting economic data about where Europe's economy is headed
Updated: 1 hour ago
New interior minister sworn in amid slain journalist crisis

New interior minister sworn in amid slain journalist crisis

Slovakia's president has sworn in a new interior minister, the third person in the hot seat since the slayings of an investigative journalist and his fiancee triggered a political crisis
Updated: 1 hour ago
Ford fined by Australian court for mishandling complaints

Ford fined by Australian court for mishandling complaints

Ford Motor Co.'s Australian subsidiary has been fined 10 million Australian dollars ($7.6 million) by an Australian court for mishandling customer complaints about faulty automatic transmissions in thousands of cars.
Updated: 1 hour ago

EU Commission head in Athens to discuss post-bailout plans

European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker is in Athens for meetings with Greek officials to discuss the country's fiscal reform plans after its international bailout program ends in a few months' time
Updated: 2 hours ago

Ford fined by Australian court for mishandling complaints

Ford Motor Co.'s Australian subsidiary has been fined 10 million Australian dollars ($7.6 million) by an Australian court for mishandling customer complaints about faulty automatic transmissions in thousands of cars.
Updated: 2 hours ago