Monday, May 21, 2018

Her boyfriend wants sex after her bathroom visits

Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years. About 10 months ago we moved in together. Things have been normal except for one thing. I grew up in a house where we did not speak of bathroom behavior. As a result of that, I am quite uncomfortable talking about going No. 2. I am as secretive as I can be when I have to do my duty. Now that "Ron" and I are living together, I have to divulge certain information on a need-to-know basis. More specifically, if I have diarrhea. These times I have had to explain, "You may not want to go in there for a while." The weird thing is, 15 minutes or so after telling him, Ron initiates sex. I find it gross and confusing. This has happened four times so far. He denies a pattern. Am I the one being weird about this?

A: If he has a kink about this, just think how thrilled he must be to discover that you have a very sensitive stomach. Given your family background, it's understandable that you'd like your boyfriend to be in a different ZIP code when you move your bowels. But moving on past your family's hang-ups is going to be good for you. I agree that it does sounds like more than a coincidence that your boyfriend wants to have sex every time you limp out of the bathroom pale and spent. Sure it sounds weird, but if you look up fetishes, if this is one of his, it will end up sounding pretty mild. You've asked, but he refuses to acknowledge that he has fecal attraction. (I can't take credit for this phrase — I found it while trying to quickly Google this kink.) I suggest two things — if you frequently get diarrhea for unexplained reasons, you need to see a doctor. And if you are recovering from a violent evacuation and are really not in the mood, just tell Ron now is not the time for sexual healing.

Tipping etiquette

My girlfriend and I have a disagreement. Whenever we go out to eat, I pay for the meal and tip on my credit card. I always tip at least 20 percent, but I tip in such a way that the bill comes out to a whole dollar amount. For example, if the meal was $28.42, I would probably tip $6.58, for a total of $35.00. Having the total be a whole dollar amount is my slight OCD quirk. My girlfriend thinks it's rude to tip those odd change amounts, envisioning waiters with pocketfuls of "useless change." My response is that I am a courteous customer, a good tipper and that any extra money is good for the waiter/waitress. What are your thoughts?

If you are tipping servers at least 20 percent, I'm sure they don't mind what calculations are used to arrive at this. Given that most people tip in whole dollar amounts, if it's added to the total after tax, the servers are going to be getting an odd amount of change, anyway. There's nothing rude about what you're doing and if your girlfriend is so concerned about this harmless quirk, she should whip out her credit card. Slate.com

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