Internet postings purportedly written by a Nigerian charged with trying to bomb a U.S. airliner on Christmas Day, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, 23, suggest a fervently religious and lonely young man who fantasized about becoming a Muslim holy warrior.
Throughout more than 300 posts from 2005 to 2007, a user named "Farouk1986" reflects on a growing alienation from his family, his shame over sexual urges and his hopes that a "great jihad" will take place across the world.
The posts seem hastily written and are replete with spelling and grammar errors.
January 2005: "i am in a situation where i do not have a friend, i have no one to speak too, no one to consult, no one to support me and i feel depressed and lonely. i do not know what to do."
February 2005: "I imagine how the great jihad will take place, how the muslims will win, insha Allah and rule the whole world, and establish the greatest empire once again!!!" The words "insha Allah" are the phonetic translation of the Arabic for "God willing."
March 2005: Farouk1986 wrote about the college admissions process and his disappointment in scoring a 1200 on the SAT. "I tried the SAT. It was a disaster!!!"
June 2005: Farouk1986 wrote that he was in Yemen for a three-month Arabic course, saying that "it is just great."
December 2005: Farouk1986 wrote that his parents were visiting him in London and he was torn about whether he could eat meat with them. "I am of the view meat not slaughtered by Muslims … is haram (forbidden) for consumption unless necessary."
In another posting, Farouk1986 describes how alone he feels and acknowledges feeling lust, chastising himself for not lowering his gaze around unveiled women. At another point, he warns how "the hair of a woman can easily arouse a man."
Information from the Associated Press and Washington Post was used in this report.
From university to prison
London: Abdulmutallab was enrolled at University College from September 2005 to June 2008, where he became president of the Islamic Society.
Dubai: An official at the University of Wollongong campus in Dubai said Abdulmutallab attended the school for "about seven months'' starting in January of this year.
Sana, Yemen: He studied Arabic at a language institute in the summer of 2005 and again sporadically between August and December of this year.
Lagos, Nigeria: He was here on Christmas Eve, just hours before departing for Amsterdam. Abdulmutallab was raised in Kaduna, a city in Nigeria's Muslim-dominated north.
Amsterdam: He boarded Northwest Flight 253 for the 19-hour trip to the United States.
Detroit: About noon Friday, officials say, Abdulmutallab tried to ignite an incendiary powder mixture he had taped to his leg as Flight 253 made its final approach to Detroit. He is being held at the federal prison in Milan, Mich.