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Keith Richards sells bags, is no Mikhail GorbachevPatrick swayze has cancer

Gnarls' track, Downey's black, Franken's slack

• Gnarls Barkley's new video for Run won't be aired on MTV because it has failed the Harding Test, which measures strobe effects for their ability to set off seizures, E! Online reports. And here we thought it was the Justin Timberlake cameo doing that.

• Robert Downey Jr. will appear onscreen as a black man in his role as a white actor playing a black part in Tropic Thunder, the AP reports. You know how well that worked out for C. Thomas Howell in Soul Man.

• The state of New York fined the personal corporation of Democratic Senate candidate Al Franken $25,000 for not carrying workers' compensation insurance for almost three years, the AP reports. Because working for an outspoken liberal is considered pretty dangerous in this day and age.

If you can believe it, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is the new face of Louis Vuitton, the fashion giant announced. The AFP says the 64-year-old will be featured in ads shot by Annie Leibovitz and will appear next month with the slogan, "Some journeys cannot be put into words. New York. 3 a.m. Blues in C." Richards is holding a guitar on a hotel-room bed in the image. Richards, who plans to donate his fee to The Climate Project (an environmental charity run by Al Gore), follows in the footsteps of luminaries like Catherine Deneuve, Scarlett Johansson, Uma Thurman and Mikhail Gorbachev, but somehow his selection makes the most sense. After all, if you need someone whose face resembles a leather handbag, you could do a lot worse.

Photo via Louis Vuitton

Simpson at Honey Pot

If you're around Ybor City tonight and looking for something to do (and really, who isn't looking for something to do in Ybor?), drop into the Honey Pot at 1507 7th Ave. to catch Ashlee Simpson. The burlesque club says the singer will be "singing live" to mark the release of her new album Bittersweet World. Tickets are available for $20 in advance by calling (813) 247-4663, the club confirms. Throw in the 93.3 FLZ Weekend Kick-Off Party and the club's Thursday special where ladies drink for free, and we can abstain from any lip-synching jokes.

Normally we don't lend a whole lot of credence to what the National Enquirer says (unless it's about Hulk Hogan), but when they say Patrick Swayze only has five weeks to live, we have to listen.

The tabloid says the 55-year-old star of Dirty Dancing, Ghost, Road House, Red Dawn, Point Break and a bunch of other movies we love has been going to Stanford University's Palo Alto cancer center for the past month to treat pancreatic cancer. Swayze's representative has confirmed the cancer to the New York Post's Page Six.

He and wife Lisa Niemi have been flying their private plane to Palo Alto, where he's apparently been getting radical chemotherapy treatments. But the disease has already spread to his other organs, making chances for a recovery low. Doctors are not optimistic, the Enquirer says, and told Swayze "he should prepare for the end."

The Associated Press, however, reports that Swayze's doctor says he can work. "Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far," Swayze's physician Dr. George Fisher said. "All of the reports stating the timeframe of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic."

So, dear reader, you can believe the National Enquirer or his actual doctor. We believe in options.

Aguilera hocks her silver

Not wanting to be left out of the advertising campaign gold rush, Christina Aguilera is now modeling for London jeweler Stephen Webster, who designed a collection just for our Xtina. The Silver Collection is full of pieces made from sterling silver, 18-karat gold and gems like jade, chalcedony, goldstone, hematite and white agate, Ok! reports. "She was a real coup for us. She's our longest-term regular client and the right age for the brand," Webster said. "We think she's in the most glamorous period of her life right now, and she is the main source of inspiration behind the collection." The campaign will launch in April, with Aguilera keeping up with her fab '40s glam look, and will hawk about fifty different rings, cuffs, pendants and earrings. And she already looks a whole lot better than Keith Richards.

Katie sells her underwear

Keith Richards sells bags, is no Mikhail GorbachevPatrick swayze has cancer 03/05/08 [Last modified: Friday, October 28, 2011 10:26am]
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