Britain: Guns illegal, even if you shoot self
The lawyer for a British man who confessed to illegally having a Taser gun tried to get some leniency from the court before sentencing. "He is like the cartoon character Homer Simpson," said John Walker. "It was a silly thing for him to do, but he hasn't used it on anyone but himself." That was true, reports the Daily Mail. He only used it once, and he wasn't all that impressed. "I wanted to test it out, so I shot myself in the chest. I was told it discharged a million volts, but I wasn't left in much pain at all," said Ricky Hodgkinson. Maybe it was saying it out loud that caused a bit of reflection. "I suppose I have to agree with my solicitor. I am a bit like Homer Simpson. It was a stupid thing to do, really." Really.
Burgers and beer on the road in Utah
The Utah Highway Patrol had to deal with two trucking accidents around Salt Lake City on Tuesday. No one was injured in either accident, but dinner could be an issue. About 5 a.m. on I-15, a driver fell asleep and the truck clipped a wall and overhead sign, causing 40,000 pounds of burger patties to hit the pavement. About two hours later, a truck on I-84 was going too fast for snowy conditions, slid and lost its load of beer.
Man can't escape long arm of wedgie
Yvonne Morris doesn't carry a gun to work, so she did what she could when she saw someone breaking into a co-worker's car at the Brickyard Animal Hospital in Salt Lake City. She caught him, but he got away. Then she caught him again, but he got away. So then she grabbed him by the back of the boxers and yanked as hard as she could. This created a moment of stunned paralysis that allowed her to put him in a headlock until help came.
Sounds dirty, but not
Vanity plate actually kind of boring
Just because Henry DeRossi has what some might assume to be a racy vanity license plate — XXX PERT — he would like you to know that it is obviously a reference to his business, Expert Metal Slitters of Long Island City, N.Y. DeRossi, 78, told the New York Daily News that you wouldn't even believe how many people think he is in an entirely different kind of business when they see the tag. His car dealer won't even let him park up front when he brings his Mercedes in for service. For the record, DeRossi does not sell any DVDs or magazines at stop lights. So don't ask. Filthy, filthy minds.
Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.