Drinking and driving
Ohio man wrecks his motorized bar stool
Kile Wygle of Newark, Ohio, has been charged with drunken driving without ever leaving his bar stool. But what a bar stool. Wygle, 28, was on his own motorized bar stool, which is not available in any store or even on the Internet, best we can tell. The stool is powered by the guts of an old lawn mower, and Wygle told police it could go 38 mph. Police responded to a report of a crash on March 4 and found Wygle, who told them he had consumed 15 beers. He pleaded not guilty and asked for a trial by jury of his peers. But who is truly a peer to a guy who rides around on a bar stool at 38 mph?
Can Bart boost Postal Service?
There is a postal regulation that people cannot be honored on a U.S. stamp until five years after their deaths, but next week a stamp honoring The Simpsons will be unveiled. The set of five 44-cent (d'oh!) stamps will feature Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie, with artwork to be done by creator Matt Groening. The stamps will preview on usps.com on April 9, and a sale date will be announced then.
Carrier pigeons deliver cell phones
Police in Sorocaba, Brazil, caught a pigeon on prison grounds with a small bag taped to its leg. Inside the bag, they found parts of a small cell phone. The next day, they found another pigeon, this one with a charger. They never found the one with the service contract, but police theorize that the pigeons were raised on the prison camp and smuggled out, fitted with the contraband and released to return home. Officials said that the birds were photographed — so they better not try it again — and released. They could not guarantee that the birds wouldn't just come back again.
Wait, no, guns are NOT allowed in jail
Officials in Cook County, Ill., are gently reminding all law enforcement personnel to make sure they check to see if people are carrying loaded guns when they get booked into jail. Because apparently, they forgot. Bennie Ellison was arrested on March 18 and patted down at least four times at three facilities, and went to a court hearing uncuffed before a judge, all with a palm-sized .380 semiautomatic handgun inside the front of his pants, according to the Chicago Sun-Times. He ditched it in a laundry room when he realized he was going to have to change clothes. Other inmates, possibly new inmates, found it and notified authorities. "There were officers at the jail not doing their job," said spokesman Steve Patterson. "We plan to enact discipline."
Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.