Professor goes on record with wing research
Another professor has released a study of something we either didn't need to be told or didn't care to hear from someone who wants to sound smart. But here goes: Professor Roger Wotton of University College London says angels can't fly. "Even a cursory examination of the evidence in representational arts shows that angels and cherubs cannot take off and cannot use powered flight," Wotton wrote in a paper published by the school magazine. Which is not peer-reviewed. Wotton also explained why gliding flight wouldn't work, but it was hard to stay awake through that. And fairies? "The distortion of the thorax needed for flight in fairies with butterfly wings would be exceedingly uncomfortable. For sure, fairies don't fly." Dragons? Do not fly list. Pegasus was not mentioned, so it can be assumed it is viable.
Pastor plays poker for building fund
The Rev. Andrew Trapp has come up with a windfall of $100,000 that he plans to put toward his church's goal of building a new facility. No car wash or bake sale here, though. The assistant pastor entered a televised poker tournament and narrowly missed the $1 million top prize. "God gave me a gift of playing cards — that interest, that hobby — and I could put it to use to help build our church," said Trapp, 28. "That just was really exciting for me." Trapp got permission from his pastor before entering. The final will be televised this weekend. Sunday, actually. The church will get together and watch after services.
Company coming, get the good stuff
Supermarkets in Britain are reporting an increase in sales of premium toilet paper ahead of the holidays, according to the Daily Telegraph. The chain Sainsbury said that sales of the extra-thick quilted stuff accounted for only 24 percent of toilet paper sales in the second week of November, but 35 percent the second week in December. Another store, Asda, says that sales have quadrupled in the past two weeks. "We've seen a distinct trend in shoppers trading up at this time of year," Asda spokeswoman Jennifer England said, theorizing the trend was due to an effort to impress holiday guests. "Embracing the inner snob is a trait often associated with the British." Sales of higher quality coffee and tea are also reportedly on the rise.
Sale on bedding: only used once
More than 100 people were stranded in a store in England when a snowstorm closed surrounding roads Monday. Luckily, it was in a department store, and they sell beds. That helped them turn it into a big sleepover. "There was no way that I was going to throw customers out into that, and we just had to make use of what we had got," said Deborah Strazza, manager of the John Lewis store in High Wycombe. "We made up the beds and they all snuggled down."
Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.