Stuck on phone
Gye Gardner of Australia broke the headset of his cell phone. It was nothing that a little super glue couldn't fix. Then the phone rang, and in what would become the most unfortunate of innate reactions Gardner would experience all day, he answered it. He told the Northwest Territory News that he had been driving for about five minutes, "when I realized I had done something kind of stupid." The first suggested solution: Leave it there. "Usually it's in my ear all day anyway." Then he considered using a knife to wedge it out . . . then realized there was no sense in compounding the stupidity. "So I used a spoon." He said that hurt, too, and bits of ear came off with the earpiece, which hurt. "But I guess I did hurt my pride much more than it did hurt my ear."
Caught on video
Man, chicken have moment on subway
Proving there is video of just about anything that ever happens on the Internet, there is now a video floating around out there of a man on the floor of a New York subway, hugging, kissing and caressing a chicken on the No. 6 uptown train. It is on the blogs, on YouTube, and posted to Gothamist, a New York blog network. New York City transit officials have assured the public they are investigating, but did not say what the investigation entails beyond e-mailing the link around the office.
City Hall fire was probably inside job
City Hall in Portland, Ore., had to be evacuated on Wednesday as firefighters rushed to the scene. The Oregonian reports that the building was emptied as city staff waited on the sidewalks for the smoke to clear, interrupting a meeting of the City Commission. The smoke was coming from the break room. Specifically a toaster. Where there was a burning bagel. No one claimed responsibility for the burning bagel, and there was not enough forensic evidence to determine what kind of bagel it was. "I apologize for the interruption," Mayor Sam Adams said after the evacuation.
Robbery in progress . . . well, not yet
Francis Coleman, 40, of Bethlehem, Pa., called WFMZ-TV to announce that he was fed up with bank fees that he was being charged. So he suggested that the station send a camera to the local branch at 11 a.m. on Thursday, because he was going to rob it. In case station officials had any questions, he left his name and phone number. Next thing you know, police are knocking on Coleman's door, arresting him on charges of making terroristic threats.
Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.