Cinemax isn't really playing his movie
Former South Carolina lawmaker-turned-filmmaker James "Bubba" Cromer is suing two premium cable networks for including a movie he made in its listing when it meant a different film with the same name. The Movie Channel and Cinemax both showed a film called The Hills Have Thighs and listed Cromer as the director. So Cromer and his pals got together to watch and were shocked — shocked! — when a soft-core porn movie came on. "It had nudity, sex acts, ridiculous language," Cromer said. "My name is all I've got, and I saw it disintegrating in front of me." Speaking of names, Cromer acts in his version, playing a man named Drip Drywall. Cromer's film isn't porn, but an "Appalachian comedy" involving alien abduction. And features Hick'ry Hawkins and Sidemeat on the soundtrack. So, there's plenty of blame to go around here.
Iceland struggles with nudity issue
Iceland has voted to ban striptease shows. Steinunn Valdis Oskarsdottir, a Social Democrat lawmaker who supported the ban, said she has studied the issue for 15 years. "Not yet have I met one woman who dances at strip clubs because she wants to," she said. Well, especially in Iceland. The ban makes it illegal for any business to profit from the nudity of employees. Which brought out the nitpickers. "What do they call nude?" asked club owner Asgeir Davidsson. But he sort of asked it like he already had an idea as to what the answer should be. "Is it nude if they are wearing a string?" See?
Appointment foils robbers' getaway
Police in Fairfield, Conn., are asking that all future bank robbers follow the example set on Tuesday by the robbers of the People's United Bank. Unlike most robbers, who just walk in whenever they feel like it and start demanding things, these robbers called ahead and scheduled a convenient time for everyone, asking that a bag of money — preferably one with a big dollar sign on it — be filled and ready to go for them. What the robbers didn't ask for, but the bank surprised them with, was a team of police there waiting for them. "You can't make this stuff up," police Sgt. James Perez told the Connecticut Post. We don't have to, officer.
Cleaning sewage plant made harder
The employees at a sewage treatment center in Yakima, Wash., are begging: Please stop throwing heavy-duty paper towels down the drain! It is a specific kind of towel, and officials assume it is coming from one business, one with big drainage. The thing is, these towels are clogging the filters, and that means workers have to go in and rake it out. Would you want to do that? "We've never figured it out, but we'd love to know who it is," Mike Price, a plant supervisor, told the Yakima Herald-Republic. "I wish the rag stuffer would print the business name on the towels."
Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.