Giant cartoon dog goes on prison rampage
When Snoopy walks into a room waving a gun, he has everyone's undivided attention. Especially when it is a prison. According to the Sun, the man and his accomplice — it would be awesome if it was a bald guy wearing shorts and a yellow T-shirt with a squiggly pattern, but that isn't in the story — made an attempt to get into the Camp Hill jail on England's Isle of Wight to break out a family member. "It's not every day you see a giant cartoon dog going on the rampage after trying to break into a prison," said a prison worker. "They weren't exactly inconspicuous." What they were, though, was at the wrong prison. The person they were attempting to get out wasn't there. They were caught and arrested. And it turned out Snoopy's gun was a water pistol.
Don't pack drugs for time in jail
Jane Simmons, 45, of Poughkeepsie, N.Y., reported to the Ulster Sheriff's Office Corrections Division to serve a part of her intermittent sentence for petty larceny. As she checked in, the staff found 18 bags of heroin and 10 painkillers on her, reports the Mid-Hudson News. Technically, you aren't supposed to bring those to jail, even if you're willing to share. She tried to grab them back and flush them down the nearest toilet but failed at that, too. She was charged with promoting prison contraband, which could make her sentence less intermittent.
British library hires bouncer for kids
The Norfolk County Council in Britain has approved a new position for a local library: a bouncer. Apparently, the King's Lynn branch has been terrorized by schoolchildren "running about screaming and shouting," reports the Daily Telegraph. The two librarians can't control them, and police haven't done anything about it. So the new money means that the library can hire some muscle for three hours a day, three days a week, for $20 per hour, for the next six weeks. "This was a temporary ad-hoc solution that has nipped the problem in the bud," council member Derrick Murphy said.
Man stuck in river won't call for help
China's Chongqing Morning Post reports that Xiao Chen, 25, spent 11 hours stuck in the Changjiang River because he was too embarrassed to ask for help. He told the paper that he decided to go out for a late-night dip, but sank into the silt and couldn't get out. He had his cell phone but thought his situation was shameful and decided against using it. After four hours, fishermen saw him and called rescue workers. But even then it took forever, because they told Chen the easiest way out would be to slip out of his pants, and he thought that would be embarrassing. "If he was not so interested in saving face and cooperated with us by removing his pants, he could have been out in one or two hours," said firefighter Zhou Xin.
Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.