Instincts don't take rookie sailor very far
A man, identified in news reports only as "a man," bought a small boat online and decided that for his maiden voyage, he would cruise around the British coastline. He didn't know a lot about navigation, but figured he would eventually make it from Gillingham to Southampton if he kept land on his right. They don't teach that method in any boating class. The problems started when the man was unaware that the land mass on his right was not the mainland, but the small Isle of Sheppey. So he circled the island until he ran out of gas and had to be rescued by a lifeboat. "We passed on relevant safety advice and advised him that the best way to Southampton would be by train," Ian Goodwin of the coast guard told the Daily Mail. The man said he would just refuel and try again. No one knows if he made it to Southampton.
Department of irony
Health officials clean own house
Anyone who needs to visit the Department of Health in Fairfield County, Ohio, will have to wait. It was shut down because of a flea infestation. Probably by the Department of Health.
Injured goose finds great place to land
The bad news for the Canada goose flying over Toms River, N.J., was that it was hit with an arrow by a hunter. The good news is that it was not a fatal hit and that when it landed, it was in the back yard of a retired veterinarian. "This is a smart goose," said Bernard Levine, who performed lifesaving surgery on the bird and fed it before taking it to a rehab facility. After three weeks of recovery, it was released, and Levine watched it go. "It feels great to see him free and liberated, enjoying life the way a goose should," Levine said.
They got away
Toilet paper makes for clean getaway
Police in Lincoln, Neb., say a man robbed Kabredlo's convenience store on Saturday night, armed with a knife and disguised with toilet paper wrapped around his head. The sad part is, the toilet paper idea worked. Police have no idea who the robber is, and he got away, according to the Lincoln Journal Star. Police dogs tracked the robber for about a block, and police found a few squares of tissue, but then the trail ended.
Plan B: Steal smaller TV
According to police in Medford, Ore., someone broke in to the Advanced TV store and tried to steal a 52-inch LCD set, according to the Medford Mail Tribune. "Tried" in that there was a 52-inch TV shattered in the parking lot of the store. In a sign that robbers aren't so smart, they went back in for another TV. But in a sign that maybe they were doing a little thinking, this time they took a 47-inch set. They were able to successfully get away with that.
Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.