lifeguard rips Skimpy trunk requirement
At issue in the case of Lester vs. Office of Parks, Recreation and Historic Preservation is who should wear Speedos on the beach. It's amazing this hasn't already come up in court. Alas, Roy Lester, 61, is suing the office because he lost his job as a lifeguard on New York's Jones Beach because they required him to wear one. He's a triathlete, and in shape, but wanted to wear more modest shorts. "I could have passed that test in dungarees," he told the New York Daily News, perhaps to show off his age. "But come on. There should be a law prohibiting anyone over the age of 50 from wearing a Speedo." Age really has nothing to do with it, Roy. That aside, Lester was a lifeguard for 40 years before the disagreement. His suit — well, the lawsuit — was dismissed but has been reinstated on appeal.
Bargain hunter did not buy the snake
Donald Forshey was happy with his haul from a yard sale in Duncansville, Pa. But on his trip home down I-99, he learned there was something in his milk crate full of deals that he hadn't actually bought. A snake latched on to his leg, causing him to pull over, jump out of the car and call 911. Paramedics said he was okay, but when cops couldn't find the snake, he called a friend who likes snakes to drive the car home.
Guns should have handles built in
Justin Newberry, 23, of Clarksville, Tenn., kept a handgun known as the "Judge" under the seat of his car as he was driving along I-24. He hit the brakes, and it slid forward. It would be nice to report that he safely pulled over, carefully picked up the gun and resecured it while thanking the stars nothing bad happened. But that isn't how it went down. While still driving, he leaned over to pick up the weapon, reports Clarksville Online, and grabbed it by the trigger. Interesting thing about grabbing a gun by the trigger. Sometimes it goes off. And sends a slug through your leg. And into the other leg. Which is bad when you're driving. The day just gets worse when police respond to your 911 call and find pot in the car.
The meeting has no order, just a bat
The Board of Selectmen in Epping, N.H., was discussing road signs at this week's meeting when there was an interruption. A bat entered the meeting, and despite not being on the official agenda, flitted over the board, causing dives and ducks among selectmen. Someone suggested a policeman shoot it, but no one did, otherwise this story would probably be less funny. Bats live in the town hall's tower but had never attended a meeting.
Switzerland is landlocked and has no islands. So Gotland is an island off Sweden. An item Thursday put it in a different country. Possibly one without islands.
Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.