Look! Up in the sky! It's either a UFO or a car sale
A concerned citizen called the police in Bridgeport, Conn., to report something strange he saw. "It may be aliens or something," he said, assuring the dispatcher he was neither drunk nor crazy, according to the Fairfield Citizen. Technically, they probably need to check stuff like that out even when callers don't offer that assurance. It was a rotating light, and it was shining on his house for like 20 minutes, even though he wasn't drunk. Police investigated, determined there was a car sale nearby, with rotating spotlights. Case closed. Wait, said concerned citizen, it couldn't have been that, because the lights were shining down on the house. From the sky. Don't you understand? Case closed, the police maintained, sticking with the car sale theory.
A compendium of contraception
There is a warrant for the arrest of Alexandrea Brooks in Marietta, Ga., reports the Atlanta Journal Constitution. According to police, a woman went in to a Walgreens store in September and stole $562.68 cents worth of merchandise. Best of all, there was a theme to the shopping excursion. Tops on the list of things to get seemed to be condoms . . . 26 boxes of them, mostly Magnum, for what that's worth. Okay, shows some responsibility. Also, there was a box of baby wipes. So, we can assume there is a little one in the house, and no more little ones are desired. Finally, there was an ovulation test kit, which might not have been what she meant to steal.
A call of the wild, a shot in the dark
It's sort of funny to be able to make convincing animal sounds when you're out in the woods with your friends. But it's sort of dangerous to be too good at it when you are trying to scare your friends and one of them has a shotgun. The Post-Standard in Syracuse, N.Y., reports that Stephen Comrie, 20, of Manlius, N.Y., learned this lesson the hard way. He was able to walk out of the woods to get help but suffered injuries to his face, arm, chest and thigh. Jeremy Messina, 21, was charged with reckless endangerment.
Man not very smart, has terrible friends
Another group of 20somethings went out for a late-night visit to Blue Rock Springs Park in Vallejo, Calif., over the weekend. What they were doing there was not reported, but it was probably brainstorming fundraising ideas for charities, or curing a disease. Either way, the Vallejo Times-Herald reports that through some course of events that included a $100 bet and lubrication, one of the men got into a kiddie swing. It was apparently hilarious, at least until the man, unnamed in official reports, realized he was stuck. At that point, his friends did the obvious thing, and took off. The man was stuck for about nine hours, until 6 a.m. when a groundskeeper found him screaming like the little girl the swing was intended for. Emergency workers cut the swing down, then took the man to the hospital, where they cut the swing off. It was not clear who won the bet.
Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.