No one is immune to the allure of the doughnut
Officials in New Hampshire were concerned about the welfare of a 6-month-old bear that went up into a tree and refused to come down for two days. The 20-pound cub had been roaming around the city of Hinsdale with its mother, but the mother got aggressive — after people had been feeding her, the morons — and was killed. So, running up into a tree and hiding for two days was really a reasonable thing to do. Finally, the officials had an idea for getting it out of the tree. Doughnuts. Which almost always work to get people out of their desks at any office. Works with bears, too. The cub has been turned over to a rehabilitator who will train it to live on its own.
Marijuana, bears not a good mix
Brock Hopkins was mauled by grizzly bears at Great Bear Adventures Park in West Glacier, Mont., in 2007, where he was a volunteer. Hopkins might debate the name of the park, and that's just the start of the controversy. Whether worker's comp covered his injuries was debated in court on two points: a) as a volunteer, did he "work" there?; and b) how stoned should you be while feeding bears? Hopkins admits he went to work baked that day, which the judge ruled "mind-bogglingly stupid," but that ultimately, should not exclude him from compensation, reports WRTV-Ch. 3 in Great Falls. "When a grizzly bear is sighted on a trail, the trail is closed to all hikers, not just the hikers who have recently smoked marijuana," the logical judge said. "When it comes to attacking humans, grizzlies are equal opportunity maulers."
Man goes green, but city mows down
Michael Anschel of Minneapolis spent three years tending to his prairie grass lawn. He did it for the environmental benefits of not watering and not mowing. And, as Minneapolis is a city that embraces environmental efforts, they probably loved that. Except that they said it violated codes and if Anschel didn't mow it, they would. He tells the Minneapolis Star Tribune he left a message asking the city to give him more time, but he came home from work one day this week, and his grass was gone. And they left a bill of $140. "It would kind of be as if somebody came and cut down your rose bushes after you'd spent the last three years trying to get them to bloom right," Anschel said.
Lose weight before joining the gym
After Sandra Ruiz of Oklahoma City had a baby and realized she was tipping the scales at 385 pounds, she decided to do something about it. So she joined a gym. Good first step. Then she actually went to the gym, which is farther than a lot of people get in the pursuit. That's where the problems started, reports KOTV-Ch. 6. Ruiz was riding an exercise bike at Mademoiselle Fitness Center when an employee told her to get off. "The lady said I couldn't get on the machines because we are overweight," Ruiz said. Maybe the employee didn't know the company mission? Wait, no, the employee was right. The company said Ruiz could use the aerobics room to walk in until she could safely use the machines. Ruiz pointed out she can walk anywhere, for free. Touche. The center let Ruiz out of her contract.
Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.