Looking like a fool
Pants on the ground now a campaign issue
It has come to this: Our politicians are taking policy cues from unbalanced tryout contestants on American Idol. New York state Sen. Eric Adams, D-Brooklyn, is using campaign funds to put up billboards in his district encouraging youngsters to pull up their pants, reports the New York Daily News. Then he freely admitted he was piggy-backing on the momentum of Larry Platt's Idol audition rendition of Pants on the Ground, which went viral. "I thought it was funny," Adams said. "But when you look at it more closely, you see how big this matter is. When we sag like that, we're playing into it. We look like clowns." Indeed.
Nothing else to do, so he shops naked
Police in Kingsport, Tenn., have arrested Daniel R. Lee, 22, on charges of indecent exposure. And by indecent exposure, they mean he was running around inside a supermarket wearing nothing but a mask. And not over any parts you are legally required to cover. The Kingsport Times-News reports that a man was running up and down the aisles of the IGA, then exited and went to a Hardee's, where he arrived wearing a orange sweatshirt and asked if he could borrow some shorts. Someone had an extra pair, oddly enough, and police found him in the rest room. Lee defended his actions, though. "Daniel advised me that he did run through the IGA nude because he was bored and didn't have anything to do," according to the police report.
If you need a job, Brenna is hiring
Authorities in Virginia say Brenna Reilly, 29, of Arlington was doing her part to stimulate the economy by hiring her neighbors to work with her as her assistants. Because the FBI's director of forensics needs assistants. She needed help in writing condolence letters. She needed someone to go with her on an official-sounding trip to Germany and Iraq. Problem: Reilly isn't actually the FBI's director of forensics. The "employees" say they had to fill out job applications with information like Social Security numbers. They didn't say what the jobs paid, though.
Cops are tough to get revenge against
Police in Roseville, Mich., aren't divulging a name but say that a man has admitted throwing screws and nails into the parking lot of City Hall and the Police Department. They say his story is that he was upset about a ticket he got after an accident with a police car and that he has been throwing handfuls of the shrapnel into lots as he drives by a few times a week since February, causing several flat tires. He was caught Tuesday when he escalated the plot, armed with a bucket of nails that he was spreading around the City Hall lot. "How ignorant can you be?" said Deputy Chief James Berlin, who must be new.
Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.