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The skinny

The skinny: Sometimes, life just imitates low-brow comedy

Police reports

Sometimes, life just imitates low-brow comedy

Any list of the movies you should never act out in real life would have to include Weekend at Bernie's. But it's hard to avoid drawing comparisons to that 1989, um, comedy(?) and some goings-on in Denver last month. Police say Robert Young, 43, and Mark Rubinson, 25, took the dead body of their friend(?) Jeffrey Jarrett, 43, and drove it around town, stopping at bars and running up tabs in Jarrett's name. There were stops for gas and burritos and strip clubs over the course of a couple days before authorities were notified. If any of this sounds familiar, you had terrible taste in movies 20 years ago. Young and Rubinson face charges of abusing a corpse, identity theft and impersonation. They are out on bail. And there was a Weekend at Bernie's II.

Roadside assistance escalates with gun

It started off as an act of benevolence. A 62-year-old man pulled over to help an out-of-fuel motorist on a Texas road, reports the San Antonio Express News. But as he listened to the stranded husband, 31, and wife interact, it became an act of chivalry. He didn't like how the wife was being spoken to. Then it gets a little cloudy. Police think the husband attacked the man who stopped to help him, then found out the hard way that the older man was packing a revolver. The younger man was hit in the shoulder, and taken to the hospital with noncritical injuries. The older man has not been arrested, but police are taking a look at his use of force.

Lawn ornaments

Francis returns, a bit more fabulous

It disappointed Mary Jo Paul when their statue of St. Francis of Assisi was stolen from their lawn in Bozeman, Mont. They knew it wouldn't be the most important case for police, so they wrote a letter to the editor of the Bozeman Daily Chronicle, basically suggesting to the robber that stealing a religious symbol was a really bad idea. "I said in the letter St. Francis was not a sissy," Paul says. Well, until it was returned. The previously muted-monotone statue was now painted with glittery features, rouge cheeks, sparkly eye shadow and polished nails. "I laughed so hard I cried," Paul said. "The person who did it is most ingenious, if unethical."

Garden gnomes sent home from school

In Helena, Mont., the garden statuary was far less religious, but no less stolen. An official at Capiral High School showed up at work one day and found 22 gnomes all over the grounds, including one on the roof. So far, eight of the gnomes' homes have been found. "My goal is to get them to their rightful owners," said Noal Petty, the school's resource officer.

Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at jwebster@sptimes.com.

The skinny: Sometimes, life just imitates low-brow comedy 09/16/11 [Last modified: Friday, September 16, 2011 9:20pm]
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