Hey! Watch this!
You're going to want a holster for that, sir
Every couple of months, a story moves that reminds us of the singular danger of sticking your gun down the front of your pants. Because, no matter how cool it looks in the movies, when you stick your gun down the front of your pants, there is only one thing you can be aiming at, however inadvertently. Even though these stories are pretty similar, we run them because, well, stupid people are funny. Lukas Neuhardt, 27, is the latest, trying to impress his pals in Saarbruecken, Germany. He told police that someone else shot him ... there ... but that story fell apart when police noticed there was no hole outside his jeans, just inside. "Either it was the shot of the century or he did it himself," police said. Doctors were able to stitch the damaged area back up.
This doesn't count as your poetry fix
About 1,500 Brits were asked
Complete this one simple task:
Recite a poem by heart
All the way from the start
Then in the glory they'd bask
But then arose a sad issue:
This 82 percent could not do.
Seventy-five percent found confusing
All the strange words they were using
So no love of the art did ensue
But now 93 percent are aghast
And want poetry back in the class
The Daily Mail did inquire
After it was inspired
By a show on British Broadcast
Alaska man wins by a whisker
David Traver, 43, of Anchorage, Alaska, won the 2009 World Beard and Moustache Championships on his home court over the weekend. Traver won best in show for his 20.5-inch beard and also won the freestyle competition. For the contest, his beard was dyed multiple colors and woven to look like a snowshoe. The win, over 140 other contestants from around the world, earned him a gold pan and salmon fishing trip. He now plans to shave for charity, with a donation going to Covenant House. Afterward, he plans to grow a mustache.
Hard soft drinks
Next, they'll want to check the Coke
Six states in Germany have decided that there is too much cocaine in Red Bull Cola and that retailers should stop selling it. The bans started Friday when officials in North Rhine-Westphalia tested one and found 0.4 micrograms per liter. Red Bull said its cola is "harmless and marketable in both the U.S. and Europe," which is exactly what you might expect someone selling cocaine to say.
Compiled from Times wire services and other sources by staff writer Jim Webster, who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.