Make us your home page
Instagram

Prenup could be a deal breaker for young relationship

Washington Post financial columnist Michelle Singletary dealt directly with the importance of a serious financial talk before marriage when she addressed this question from a reader:

"I'm a 32-year-old woman who has just started a fantastic relationship with a great guy (he's 39). We've been together for approximately three months. . . . The other night, he told me he would not get married without a prenup. I felt a divide between us when he said that.

"I guess I've always thought someone that wanted a prenup is someone selfish and doesn't want to share things or their full life with someone else. . . . I have a middle-class salary and only a small 401(k) and stock account — $50,000 and $15,000 respectively. He's been working many years more than I have, makes double what I make, and his family is definitely more wealthy. . . .

"If he won't get married without one, and I don't know if I will sign one, what should I do?"

I think you should take a step back. You've only been dating for three months. Generally, I agree with you. Once you get married, you should treat all assets and liabilities as if they belonged to both of you. But, and that's a BIG but, if both parties agree about a prenup especially if they are older and there are children from previous relationships, I don't think a prenup is a bad thing.

However, you do object. You do have a different viewpoint about this than the guy you are dating. And, yes, it should be a deal-breaker if you continue to feel the way you do. Besides, he made it clear, right? No prenup. No marriage.

So, if you continue to date, at some point soon, when you aren't so outraged, ask the guy to talk about it. Tell him what you told me. Tell him you aren't feeling this prenup thing. Let him explain why he would want one.

If he insists there must be a prenup before a wedding, perhaps he isn't the right guy for you. But make the call before you fall in love and become so invested in the relationship that you make a compromise you may regret — resulting in the need to use a prenup.

Prenup could be a deal breaker for young relationship 07/14/13 [Last modified: Sunday, July 14, 2013 6:20pm]
Photo reprints | Article reprints

© 2017 Tampa Bay Times

    

Join the discussion: Click to view comments, add yours

Loading...
  1. Study: Tampa Bay a top market for homebuyers on the move

    Real Estate

    The Tampa Bay area is among the top markets for homebuyers who are likely to move in the next few months, ATTOM Data Solutions says.

    The Tampa Bay area is among the top markets for homebuyers who are likely to move in the next few months, a survey found.
[Associated Press file photo]
  2. Ousted to political Siberia by Corcoran, Kathleen Peters sets sights on Pinellas Commission

    State Roundup

    TALLAHASSEE — The perks of power in Tallahassee are a coveted chairmanship, a Capitol office in a prime location and a prominent seat on the House floor. Now Rep. Kathleen Peters has lost all three, but here's the twist: Her trip to "Siberia" might actually help her reach the next step on the Tampa Bay political …

    Rep. Kathleen Peters, R-South Pasadena, has been relegated to the back row in the State House chamber, moved to a fouth floor office and stripped of her job as chairwoman of a House subcommittee after a series of disagreements with House Speaker Richard Corcoran. [SCOTT KEELER | Tampa Bay Times]
  3. UPS relocates express operations from St. Pete-Clearwater to TIA

    Airlines

    TAMPA — United Parcel Service Inc. is switching airports for its express air operations. Beginning in October, UPS will relocate from St. Pete-Clearwater International Airport to Tampa International Airport.

    Beginning in October, UPS will move from St. Pete-Clearwater International Airport to Tampa International Airport. [Associated Press file photo]

  4. Richard Corcoran takes aim at public financing of campaigns

    State Roundup

    TALLAHASSEE — House Speaker Richard Corcoran, R-Land O'Lakes, may not be running for governor — not yet anyway — but his latest idea will get the attention of those who are.

    House Speaker Richard Corcoran wants the Constitu?tion Revision Commis?sion to ask voters to repeal the state’s system of partial financing of statewide elections.
  5. Related Group breaks ground on complex at old Tampa Tribune site

    Real Estate

    TAMPA — When Miami developer Jorge Perez first eyed a 4.2-acre tract on the west bank of the Hillsborough River two years ago, people asked him if he wouldn't prefer to build on the opposite side closer to the downtown core.

    No way.

    From left, Related Group executive associate Arturo Penaa, Jorge Perez, center, founder and CEO of the Related Group, Mayor Bob Buckhorn and Steve Patterson, the President of Related Development dig their shovels  during the groundbreaking ceremony of the 400 unit Riverwalk Manor apartment complex on site of the old Tampa Tribune building on Wednesday. [OCTAVIO JONES | Times]