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Career Q&A: Boss shows he's not ready to be one

 
Published Dec. 19, 2014

Q: After my recent promotion was announced to the staff, one of my co-workers became very upset. She complained to our manager, who immediately sent out a second announcement canceling the promotion.

When I confronted him about this, he apologized for "giving me something, then taking it back."

My boss justified his reversal by saying that the co-worker made some good points about my unsuitability for the position. He also said that she was feeling undervalued. Previously, this woman has convinced him to change decisions about vacation, work assignments and various other matters.

I believe staffing decisions should be based on merit, not people's emotional reactions, so I would like to discuss this issue with human resources.

However, I'm afraid the conversation might get back to my boss, because our company is very small. How do I ensure that I will be treated fairly in the future?

A: Your boss is obviously an idiot. His arbitrary retraction of your promotion clearly indicates that he lacks the ability to manage a lemonade stand, much less a business unit. And since someone above him undoubtedly had to approve this decision, that person is an idiot as well.

If your entire business operates like this, the only way to assure that you will be "treated fairly in the future" is to find a more professional place to work. Unfortunately, managers in small companies often receive little or no leadership training, so they never learn to do their jobs properly.

This particular move was so utterly preposterous, however, that anyone with an ounce of common sense would not have done it. So while I have no idea whether you were ready to be promoted, I can say with a high degree of certainty that your boss was not.

Ignore co-worker's petulant behavior

Q: One of my co-workers is giving me the silent treatment. "Tracy" misunderstood something I said, and now she won't talk to me or even walk by my desk. Whenever I try to explain, she says, "I'm not going to discuss it." Although I'm tired of the drama, I don't know how to fix this. Should I just let Tracy make a fool of herself even though it bothers me?

A: The short answer to your question is yes, because Tracy is acting like a sulky child. Since her goal is to upset you, any negative response will just be reinforcing. Her pouty reaction provides an excellent example of passive-aggressive behavior, which is the most destructive way to handle any disagreement.

Passive-aggressive types fear conflict, so they avoid unpleasant conversations. But since they have trouble letting go of angry feelings, they continue to express their unhappiness indirectly. This petulant behavior escalates the conflict, while their refusal to talk makes a resolution impossible.

Having made several attempts to discuss this issue with your moody colleague, you must now behave as though nothing is wrong. If you ignore her brooding and continue to speak and act normally, the odds are good that Tracy will eventually come around.

Be mindful about tattler in workplace

Q: Our manager, who is very old-fashioned, expects women to wear skirts and men to wear ties. She also has a strict policy that no one is allowed to eat at their desks. Everyone thinks these rules are ridiculous, so we generally ignore them on days when we know she will be out.

Recently, we were surprised to receive a scolding email from our boss saying these policy violations would no longer be tolerated. We eventually determined that a new co-worker had tattled on us. Although this guy seemed nice at first, he's obviously not a trustworthy person. What should we do about this?

A: The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. So if you have clear evidence that this new colleague acted as an intentional informant, you can probably assume that he will continue sharing his observations. And since your manager found the information useful, she will undoubtedly continue to listen.

Fortunately, however, identifying the tattler does put you in a better position to prevent further problems. Knowing that your actions will likely be reported, you must keep confidential information to yourself, avoid making negative comments about your boss, and follow the rules, whether you like them or not.