There are ads on TV. There are ads on radio. There are ads in newspapers. There are ads on basketball courts and on football fields and on race cars' trunks and hoods. There are ads in the mail. There are ads wrapped around buses. There are ads dragged behind planes over the beach up in the bright blue sky. There are ads in the bottoms of urinals.
Where aren't there ads?
State Sen. Stephen Wise, though, has an idea. The Republican from Jacksonville doesn't agree with abortion or evolution, and earlier this year he declared, wrongly, "Every person on death row was a foster kid." Now he's thinking it might be a moneymaker to put billboards on nature trails.
Unemployment is high. Consumer confidence is low. We can't buy as much stuff as we used to, but we have to, because that's how it's set up. What a pickle.
Desperation makes a man crazy. Wise? He didn't return messages left at his offices in Jacksonville and Tallahassee.
There's not much chance this becomes a law, but the specific wording of Senate Bill 268 reads like so: "concession agreements for naming rights of state greenway and trail facilities or property or commercial advertising to be displayed on state greenway and trail facilities or property …"
It continues: "Signage" would be "limited to trailheads, trail intersections, directional or distance markets, interpretive exhibits, and parking areas." So … not limited at all?
Don't worry: "A sign or display located at a trailhead or parking area may not exceed 16 square feet."
Money doesn't grow on trees? Says who?
"These types of signs and advertising would be totally inappropriate," the Sierra Club's Rudy Scheffer said. "People go to state parks to get away from commercialization."
Florida has hiking trails. Florida has biking trails. Florida has paddling trails. Florida has equestrian trails.
Lots of opportunity there.