St. Petersburg man's story of grief has different ending this time

ST. PETERSBURG — Ted Dahlem settled into bed every night.

He talked to his wife. She died in 2005.

He talked to his children. Three of his four died, one by one, in 2007.

He talked to God.

What had he done wrong? Was he being punished for something? What else could possibly happen?

He thought about his only surviving child — a 50-year-old St. Petersburg firefighter with a life of her own, open to uncertainty.

"I don't know what I would do if I lost her," he said. "The fourth one."

He said his prayers.

In April, Dahlem's daughter Heather Brady took a vacation to Utah with friends.

While out West, she sent her dad postcards. She called him almost every day, just like she did back home in St. Petersburg.

Dahlem always looked forward to their talks. He liked to hear her calm voice, learn about her intense job and long nights at the fire station. Whenever he drove to Clermont to visit his best friend, he called his daughter.

"To let her know I hadn't been in any accidents."

On April 25, Brady and her husband, James, 57, took a 20-foot speedboat on Utah's Lake Powell with two other married couples. The men were friends James Brady had worked with at the St. Petersburg Police Department before they all retired.

Out on the water, a windstorm brewed.

• • •

Dahlem is 78, a retired English teacher who lives on Crescent Lake with his golden retriever, Daisy May. She nuzzles him awake at 4:30 each morning.

Most days, he walks around the lake, rides his bike, goes online, organizes class reunions. Staying busy helps redirect his thoughts. He spent the last year letting go of hatred and anger.

"I have a lot of deep feelings," Dahlem said. "I really don't let them out if they're bad feelings. I worry some, but I still have faith. We're not here to reason why."

His losses started in 2005 when his wife, May Dahlem, died of lung cancer.

Then, in 2007, his children.

Corey Dahlem, a Gainesville police officer, was hit by a drunken driver while clearing streets after the University of Florida basketball championship. He died one day before his 46th birthday.

Zip Dahlem, an energetic artist who struggled with alcoholism, spiraled when his brother died. He died at 47, five months after Corey.

Their sister Shawn Billings, a pharmacy tech at All Children's Hospital, developed bronchial pneumonia and infection two months after Zip's death. She died at age 44.

Heather Brady was the only one left.

"Sometimes, it's a little scary," she said in 2008. "You just have to hope that the big picture might be made more obvious one day."

• • •

On Lake Powell, the boat hit rough waters and blowing sand, officials said. It sank.

Heather and James Brady held each other and swam in the cold water until they reached shore. Rescuers found them suffering from hypothermia.

They were alive.

Back home, a relative told Dahlem what happened. The next morning, his phone rang. He heard her voice.

Brady hasn't said much about the accident. The four other people on the boat were lost.

• • •

The night he heard from his daughter, Dahlem got ready for bed.

He grabbed a dog treat and walked into the bedroom, trailed by Daisy May. She curled up on her fat doggie mattress, and he lay down on his bed.

He talked to God.

He said prayers for the lives lost, for the families of the people who died. He knew that kind of pain.

He said one more thing.

"Thank you."

Stephanie Hayes can be reached at shayes@sptimes.com or (727) 893-8857.