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Dental visit leads to adoption

By Melanie Ave, Times Staff Writer
In print: Friday, April 25, 2008

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ADVERTISEMENT [Brian Cassella | Times] Ron and Blair O'Neal with their three children: Khalid, 5; Missouri, 3 months; and Sterling, 3. [Brian Cassella | Times] Blair O’Neal hugs Khalid after helping him into a change of clothes after a fall into the backyard pool. She says she feels “honored” to be his parent.

For the boy, it was a routine dentist appointment.

For the dentist, it was an act of charity.

But that single teeth cleaning last year proved to be life-changing for both.

Ron O'Neal was helping to examine the teeth of about 75 abused and neglected foster children in Pinellas and Hillsborough counties as part of his annual "Project Save A Smile."

A brown-haired, brown-eyed little boy named Khalid caught his attention immediately. The 4-year-old was full of "yes, sirs'' and "no, sirs.''

"He was a surprisingly sharp kid,'' O'Neal, 34, remembers. "I was like, 'Whose kid is this?' He's so polite.''

O'Neal left his St. Petersburg office that day for his home in Bayshore Beautiful and told his wife, Blair, about this "little boy you've just got to meet.'' "It was love at first sight,'' she said.

Her husband floated the idea of trying to adopt him, but the couple didn't know the boy's story or whether he was ready for adoption.

At the time, Khalid was living at the Salvation Army's Sallie House in St. Petersburg, an 18-bed emergency shelter for children. He had been taken from his mother at birth. His father was not known.

Khalid had lived in at least five foster homes before coming to the Sallie House.

When Khalid came into their lives, Mrs. O'Neal, 36, discovered that she was pregnant.

"I couldn't wrap my brain around it at first, she said. "We were open to adoption, but it wasn't part of our plan at the time.''

The O'Neals enrolled in a 13-week course to prepare for foster parenting. One week before they finished, the boy's custodial father gave up his rights to Khalid.

Khalid moved in with the family — which includes 3-year-old Sterling — in September. On Dec. 20, they all welcomed a new baby girl, Missouri.

"Right in the beginning, we were friends,'' said Mrs. O'Neal, a stay-at-home mother. "In the end, we were a family.''

Khalid, an outgoing, enthusiastic boy, has stopped asking his parents about future homes where he might have to move. He has stopped clinging to their friends, as if courting them as caregivers.

One night a few months after his move to the O'Neal home, during bedtime kisses, Khalid asked:

"Mommy, am I going to be here forever?''

Yes, of course, she said. He was an O'Neal now. Forever.

From his bed, Mrs. O'Neal said, Khalid pumped his arm in the air and said, "Yes!''

Two weeks ago, the family completed its adoption of Khalid, now 5, before a teary-eyed group of 35 friends and family members inside a Pinellas County courtroom. It was a moment that was especially poignant because April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month.

The O'Neals wish more people would be willing to open their homes and hearts to foster children, whether it's to adopt them, care for them or volunteer at places like the Sallie House.

People sometimes tell the O'Neals how lucky Khalid is to have found them.

"For Ron and I, he's enriched the meaning in our lives,'' Mrs. O'Neal said, tears falling from her eyes. "I feel so honored to know Khalid and to get to parent him. We are the lucky ones.''

Melanie Ave can be reached at mave@sptimes.com or (727) 893-8813.

"Right in the beginning, we were friends. In the end, we were a family.''