(Sung to the tune of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas)
Have yourself a little bit of fluoride
Let your teeth be white
From now on
We'll trust our dentists to be right
Have yourself a little bit of fluoride
Make the county pay
From now on
The tea party will be miles away
• • •
(Sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland)
In your home, are you listening?
Game is on, ratings glistening
An empty ballpark
A team with some spark
Looking for a baseball stadium
Gone away is the veteran
Here to stay is the bargain
The bridge is too far
To drive in your car
Looking for a baseball stadium
Across the bay we can build a ballpark
Then pretend we live in one big town
They'll say break your lease
We'll call loan sharks
Cuz staying at the Trop
Will make Stu frown
• • •
(Sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)
Turn off the red-light cameras
Not a very honest game
And if you watch 'em closely
Accident reports seem lame
All of the city's henchmen
Tried to scheme and hide the facts
They never let the truth
Keep from making more greenbacks
Then one night as council talked
Numbers showed the way
Cameras with their fines so high
Help the budget multiply
Then how the council loved them
As they shouted out with glee
Red-light cameras are awesome
Now let's buy a library
• • •
(Sung to the tune of Let it Snow!)
Oh, the medical bills are frightful
But the Gov is so dang spiteful
He's appearing on every Fox show
Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!
He doesn't show signs of stopping
He refuses to go doc shopping
His polls are stuck way down low
Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!
When we finally get the law
How I hope we are ready to go
But if Rick is slow on the draw
Let HIM come up with the dough
The doubts are slowly dying
Yet the governor continues crying
Is he more like Curly or Moe?
Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!
• • •
(Sung to the tune of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus)
I saw Charlie kissing Democrats
At some polling place last night
He doesn't seem to sleep
Says he won't work for a creep
Should have seen this coming
When he wasn't picked for Veep
Once I saw Charlie hug the president
Gave the GOP an awful fright
Oh what a scandal it would be
If the world could only see
Charlie hugging Hillary tonight
• • •
(Sung to the tune of O Come All Ye Faithful)
O come all ye generals
Bawdy and improper
O come ye o come ye to CentCom
Come and sweet talk her
Born the queen of socialites
O come let us email her
O come let us email her
O come let us email her
Jill's online
• • •
(Sung to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town)
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
A brand new Lens is coming to town
It's being drawn up
Cost is still hazy
Gonna drive those Pier folks crazy
A brand new Lens is coming to town
It doesn't have a boat ramp
It doesn't have a dock
It doesn't have a ferris wheel
So yeah, that thing's a crock
• • •
(Sung to the tune of Away in a Manger)
Away in a mansion
No Mitt for their fee
The little Koch brothers
Threw money to sea
The polls in the springtime
Made Mitt seem a beaut
But the little Koch brothers
Wish they paid for Newt
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