Wednesday, January 24, 2018
News Roundup

Christmas carols make note of Tampa Bay, Florida news

(Sung to the tune of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas)

Have yourself a little bit of fluoride

Let your teeth be white

From now on

We'll trust our dentists to be right

Have yourself a little bit of fluoride

Make the county pay

From now on

The tea party will be miles away

• • •

(Sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland)

In your home, are you listening?

Game is on, ratings glistening

An empty ballpark

A team with some spark

Looking for a baseball stadium

Gone away is the veteran

Here to stay is the bargain

The bridge is too far

To drive in your car

Looking for a baseball stadium

Across the bay we can build a ballpark

Then pretend we live in one big town

They'll say break your lease

We'll call loan sharks

Cuz staying at the Trop

Will make Stu frown

• • •

(Sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

Turn off the red-light cameras

Not a very honest game

And if you watch 'em closely

Accident reports seem lame

All of the city's henchmen

Tried to scheme and hide the facts

They never let the truth

Keep from making more greenbacks

Then one night as council talked

Numbers showed the way

Cameras with their fines so high

Help the budget multiply

Then how the council loved them

As they shouted out with glee

Red-light cameras are awesome

Now let's buy a library

• • •

(Sung to the tune of Let it Snow!)

Oh, the medical bills are frightful

But the Gov is so dang spiteful

He's appearing on every Fox show

Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!

He doesn't show signs of stopping

He refuses to go doc shopping

His polls are stuck way down low

Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!

When we finally get the law

How I hope we are ready to go

But if Rick is slow on the draw

Let HIM come up with the dough

The doubts are slowly dying

Yet the governor continues crying

Is he more like Curly or Moe?

Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!

• • •

(Sung to the tune of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus)

I saw Charlie kissing Democrats

At some polling place last night

He doesn't seem to sleep

Says he won't work for a creep

Should have seen this coming

When he wasn't picked for Veep

Once I saw Charlie hug the president

Gave the GOP an awful fright

Oh what a scandal it would be

If the world could only see

Charlie hugging Hillary tonight

• • •

(Sung to the tune of O Come All Ye Faithful)

O come all ye generals

Bawdy and improper

O come ye o come ye to CentCom

Come and sweet talk her

Born the queen of socialites

O come let us email her

O come let us email her

O come let us email her

Jill's online

• • •

(Sung to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town)

You better watch out

You better not cry

You better not pout

I'm telling you why

A brand new Lens is coming to town

It's being drawn up

Cost is still hazy

Gonna drive those Pier folks crazy

A brand new Lens is coming to town

It doesn't have a boat ramp

It doesn't have a dock

It doesn't have a ferris wheel

So yeah, that thing's a crock

• • •

(Sung to the tune of Away in a Manger)

Away in a mansion

No Mitt for their fee

The little Koch brothers

Threw money to sea

The polls in the springtime

Made Mitt seem a beaut

But the little Koch brothers

Wish they paid for Newt

Comments

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