Thursday, April 19, 2018
News Roundup

Christmas carols make note of Tampa Bay, Florida news

(Sung to the tune of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas)

Have yourself a little bit of fluoride

Let your teeth be white

From now on

We'll trust our dentists to be right

Have yourself a little bit of fluoride

Make the county pay

From now on

The tea party will be miles away

• • •

(Sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland)

In your home, are you listening?

Game is on, ratings glistening

An empty ballpark

A team with some spark

Looking for a baseball stadium

Gone away is the veteran

Here to stay is the bargain

The bridge is too far

To drive in your car

Looking for a baseball stadium

Across the bay we can build a ballpark

Then pretend we live in one big town

They'll say break your lease

We'll call loan sharks

Cuz staying at the Trop

Will make Stu frown

• • •

(Sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

Turn off the red-light cameras

Not a very honest game

And if you watch 'em closely

Accident reports seem lame

All of the city's henchmen

Tried to scheme and hide the facts

They never let the truth

Keep from making more greenbacks

Then one night as council talked

Numbers showed the way

Cameras with their fines so high

Help the budget multiply

Then how the council loved them

As they shouted out with glee

Red-light cameras are awesome

Now let's buy a library

• • •

(Sung to the tune of Let it Snow!)

Oh, the medical bills are frightful

But the Gov is so dang spiteful

He's appearing on every Fox show

Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!

He doesn't show signs of stopping

He refuses to go doc shopping

His polls are stuck way down low

Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!

When we finally get the law

How I hope we are ready to go

But if Rick is slow on the draw

Let HIM come up with the dough

The doubts are slowly dying

Yet the governor continues crying

Is he more like Curly or Moe?

Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!

• • •

(Sung to the tune of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus)

I saw Charlie kissing Democrats

At some polling place last night

He doesn't seem to sleep

Says he won't work for a creep

Should have seen this coming

When he wasn't picked for Veep

Once I saw Charlie hug the president

Gave the GOP an awful fright

Oh what a scandal it would be

If the world could only see

Charlie hugging Hillary tonight

• • •

(Sung to the tune of O Come All Ye Faithful)

O come all ye generals

Bawdy and improper

O come ye o come ye to CentCom

Come and sweet talk her

Born the queen of socialites

O come let us email her

O come let us email her

O come let us email her

Jill's online

• • •

(Sung to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town)

You better watch out

You better not cry

You better not pout

I'm telling you why

A brand new Lens is coming to town

It's being drawn up

Cost is still hazy

Gonna drive those Pier folks crazy

A brand new Lens is coming to town

It doesn't have a boat ramp

It doesn't have a dock

It doesn't have a ferris wheel

So yeah, that thing's a crock

• • •

(Sung to the tune of Away in a Manger)

Away in a mansion

No Mitt for their fee

The little Koch brothers

Threw money to sea

The polls in the springtime

Made Mitt seem a beaut

But the little Koch brothers

Wish they paid for Newt

Comments
St. Petersburg police remove disabled adults from ‘deplorable’ assisted living facilities

St. Petersburg police remove disabled adults from ‘deplorable’ assisted living facilities

ST. PETERSBURG — Beef jerky, mayonnaise and Altoids mints were the only edible things in view inside one of the houses. There was no running water. The refrigerator was empty. A bed sat on top of the deteriorating living room floor. Cigarette butts b...
Updated: 3 hours ago

High school scoreboard for April 19

Thursday’s scoreboardBaseballDixie Hollins 8, Canterbury 0Northeast 13, Lakewood 3Calvary Christian 5, Berkeley Prep 2
Updated: 3 hours ago
Firefighters battle apartment complex fire in Tampa

Firefighters battle apartment complex fire in Tampa

TAMPA — Firefighters were battling a blaze at Captiva Club Apartments on Thursday night, according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office.According to video taken at the scene, the roof of one of the apartment buildings at 4401 Club Captiva Dr. ...
Updated: 4 hours ago
Two Florida deputies shot, killed at restaurant in Gilchrist County

Two Florida deputies shot, killed at restaurant in Gilchrist County

Two Gilchrist County sheriff’s deputies were shot and killed at a restaurant about 3 p.m. Thursday.The deputies were at Ace China restaurant in downtown Trenton when a man shot them through the restaurant’s window, a Sheriff’s Office statement said.A...
Updated: 5 hours ago
The St. Pete Pier takes another step forward

The St. Pete Pier takes another step forward

ST. PETERSBURG — Development of the city’s long-awaited pier advanced another step Thursday.The City Council approved a $15 million construction contract and additional money to design a waterside restaurant, build a playground and ferret out naming ...
Updated: 6 hours ago
Out early: Here’s the Bucs’ full 2018 schedule

Out early: Here’s the Bucs’ full 2018 schedule

TAMPA — How good can the Bucs be in 2018? Fans will get a good sense in the first three weeks, as Tampa Bay opens the year with three of its toughest games, all against reigning division champions.The Bucs open 2018 in New Orleans on Sept. 9 at...
Updated: 6 hours ago
FHP: Distracted driver plunges more than 50 feet off I-275

FHP: Distracted driver plunges more than 50 feet off I-275

ST. PETERSBURG — A distracted driver walked away unscathed after his car plunged 50 feet off Interstate 275, according to the Florida Highway Patrol.Thomas Highhouse, 61, of Pinellas Park, was driving his 2016 Chevrolet Camaro south on Interstate 275...
Updated: 6 hours ago
Lightning’s Hedman a Norris finalist again

Lightning’s Hedman a Norris finalist again

The Lightning's Victor Hedman is a finalist for the second consecutive year for the Norris Trophy, given to the top defenseman in the league. The other two finalists are Drew Doughty of the Kings and P.K. Subban of the Predators, it was announced Thu...
Updated: 6 hours ago
Police: Knife-wielding burglar breaks into house, says ‘I’m the cops’

Police: Knife-wielding burglar breaks into house, says ‘I’m the cops’

LARGO — Detectives are seeking the public’s help in identifying a man who broke into a home early Thursday morning and confronted the owners with a knife.The incident took place about 3:40 a.m. at a townhouse at 7360 Ulmerton Road, according to Largo...
Updated: 7 hours ago
Deputies: Man broke into house, set it on fire and stole their dog

Deputies: Man broke into house, set it on fire and stole their dog

SEMINOLE — A Seminole man was arrested on allegations that he burglarized a home, set it on fire and stole the homeowner’s dog, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office. Austin Lang, 19, now faces numerous charges of burglary, arson and poss...
Updated: 7 hours ago