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'Death Cafe' looks to put life into talking about dying

 
Tampa’s Roberto Torres, owner of the Blind Tiger Cafe in Ybor City, will host a “Death Cafe” on Sunday to raise awareness.
Tampa’s Roberto Torres, owner of the Blind Tiger Cafe in Ybor City, will host a “Death Cafe” on Sunday to raise awareness.
Published July 22, 2016

YBOR CITY — A sign posted at the Blind Tiger Cafe catches the eye of anyone walking down Seventh Avenue — "Death Cafe: Talking together about death and dying."

If that isn't intriguing enough, the sign also promises cake.

While it may sound morbid to some, the event hosted by Cat Martin and cafe owner Roberto Torres seeks to increase awareness that death is a natural part of life.

The organizers invite you to gather and discuss feelings and attitudes toward death and the dying process — your own or one you've experienced.

It is not a support group.

Torres said he agreed to host the event immediately after Martin approached him.

Both Martin and Torres agree the outcome will be determined by the people who show up and their level of participation and engagement. One of the main principles of Death Cafes is that there is no agenda and no set outcome, no speakers and no topics, just a self-facilitated conversation.

"Nobody can ever be fully prepared for death," Torres said. But he hopes the event will serve as an avenue for conversation and shed light on resources like hospice and new emerging nonprofits that handle things like what happens to your digital presence after you die.

Martin, a certified nursing assistant, discovered the concept of the death cafe during her training to become an end-of-life duala, someone who assists dying individuals.

She attended two death cafes in preparation for hosting her own and believes the dying process has a lot to teach us.

"Life's incredibly short and fragile," she said, "and if you really knew that you were dying, how would you live differently?"

She acknowledges that for some people confronting their mortality can be an uncomfortable topic, but she doesn't see death as traumatic, rather views the dying and death-phobic society as traumatic.

"Think of all the topics we shone light on and how much better we are for it," Martin said.

The death cafe, she believes, is for everyone who is going to die.

"Here's the shocker," Martin added, "you are dying. It starts at birth."

Contact Brianna Kwasnik at bkwasnik@tampabay.com.