Make us your home page
Instagram

Today’s top headlines delivered to you daily.

(View our Privacy Policy)

How to win friends and influence parents in college

Ethan, left, Ernest and Mat Hooper help judge the Mac & Cheese Throwdown in May at Curtis Hixon Waterfront Park in Tampa.

Courtesy of Ernest Hooper

Ethan, left, Ernest and Mat Hooper help judge the Mac & Cheese Throwdown in May at Curtis Hixon Waterfront Park in Tampa.

Editor's note: the Hooper sons have again filled in for Dad so he could take Father's Day weekend off. Mat, a senior at Florida State University, and Ethan, a junior at the University of Central Florida, offer these five tips for surviving college.

Live on campus your freshman year. This is where you'll meet your core group of friends.

If you live in a community-style residence hall, your room might be smaller than your room at home and showering in the stall down the hall will be a complete wild card.

But the petite size of your room will force you to hang out in the common areas.

At night, you might go outside and play ultimate Frisbee and, while your friends hone their skills, you can obnoxiously sing like a werewolf howling at the moon. The next day, people will complain about some dude singing Whitney Houston songs and waking them up. Cool, right? …

Binge watch Netflix. You can do a lot of things with your roommates to bond, but nothing compares with a Netflix binge-watching session. Start a series and before you know it, you'll be up at 3 a.m. laughing, crying and wondering where all your time went. By series end, you'll be talking about what you will watch next. Will this affect our grades? Maybe, but correlation does not mean causation. We learned that in some class …

Party right. If you throw a party, don't have a guest list and don't charge. Allow people to bring their friends. If you don't know them, you'll get to make new friends. Charging is a complete turnoff, especially when guys are charged and girls aren't. Plus, it goes against everything we learned from Barney about "sharing is caring." Follow these steps and you might have an event on par with "Hooperpalooza" …

Travel. Experience snow for the first time, follow your school's football team to an away game, spend a semester abroad or just get a taste of what other universities have to offer. We suggest carpooling as the cheapest and fastest route. Once there, stay with a relative or friend so you're not paying for a hotel …

Parents = ATM. Your parents are the best source of income unless you want to donate plasma, and we don't like needles. So if you're like us, hit your parents up but recognize it's an art form. You can't just shoot a simple text saying, "Transfer?" Periodically send some sweet nothings before making the plea. Space them out so they don't raise suspicion. Then make the ask …

Extra tip: Oh yeah. Make sure you study, go to class, get good grades and all that jazz.

That's all we're saying.

How to win friends and influence parents in college 06/15/14 [Last modified: Sunday, June 15, 2014 9:00pm]
Photo reprints | Article reprints

© 2017 Tampa Bay Times

    

Join the discussion: Click to view comments, add yours

Loading...
  1. Trump sprinkles political attacks into Scout Jamboree speech

    GLEN JEAN, W.Va. — Ahead of President Donald Trump's appearance Monday at the National Scout Jamboree in West Virginia, the troops were offered some advice on the gathering's official blog: Fully hydrate. Be "courteous" and "kind." And avoid the kind of divisive chants heard during the 2016 campaign such as "build …

    President Donald Trump addresses the Boy Scouts of America's 2017 National Scout Jamboree at the Summit Bechtel National Scout Reserve in Glen Jean, W.Va., July 24, 2017. [New York Times]
  2. Trump, seething about attorney general, speculates about firing Sessions, sources say

    WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump has spoken with advisers about firing Attorney General Jeff Sessions, as he continues to rage against Sessions' decision to recuse himself from all matters related to the Russia investigation.

  3. John McCain to return to Senate for health care vote

    WASHINGTON — The Senate plans to vote Tuesday to try to advance a sweeping rewrite of the nation's health-care laws with the last-minute arrival of Sen. John McCain — but tough talk from President Donald Trump won no new public support from skeptical GOP senators for the flagging effort that all but …

  4. Last orca calf born in captivity at a SeaWorld park dies

    Tourism

    ORLANDO — The last killer whale born in captivity under SeaWorld's former orca-breeding program died Monday at the company's San Antonio, Texas, park, SeaWorld said.

    Thet orca Takara helps guide her newborn, Kyara, to the water's surface at SeaWorld San Antonio in San Antonio, Texas, in April. Kyara was the final killer whale born under SeaWorld's former orca-breeding program. The Orlando-based company says 3-month-old Kyara died Monday. [Chris Gotshall/SeaWorld Parks & Entertainment via AP]
  5. Blake Snell steps up, but Rays lose to Orioles anyway (w/video)

    The Heater

    ST. PETERSBURG — Blake Snell stepped up when he had to Monday and delivered an impressive career-high seven-plus innings for the Rays. That it wasn't enough in what ended up a 5-0 loss to the Orioles that was their season-high fifth straight is symptomatic of the mess they are in right now.

    Tim Beckham stands hands on hips after being doubled off first.