Make us your home page
Instagram

Today’s top headlines delivered to you daily.

(View our Privacy Policy)

When pet dies, grief may linger

Plaques like these for police dogs are among the options for cremated pet remains at Curlew Hills Cemetery.

JOSEPH GARNETT JR. | Times

Plaques like these for police dogs are among the options for cremated pet remains at Curlew Hills Cemetery.

LARGO — Gigi usually slept in the bathroom, where the floor was cool. But sometimes she curled into Denise Cardoso's bed, right on the pillow.

Cardoso bought a convertible because Gigi loved the rides. She read books out loud, because Gigi loved her voice. Gigi had her very own diva crown, sunglasses and an army of stuffed animals.

Gigi was 14. In October, the fluffy brown and white Sheltie died. Cardoso also lost her father and her brother recently. But losing Gigi affected her differently.

"I go home for lunch to let her out, and I'm in tears," said Cardoso, 49, who carries an envelope of Gigi's photos. "I feel sometimes like I am going crazy."

She's not alone.

"Most people don't want to discuss the loss of a loved one, whether it's two legged or four legged," said Crystal Finnis, a grief counselor with the Pinellas Animal Foundation. "There are people who pound the table and scream and yell. There are people who withdraw into their own little world."

Experts talked to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Tampa Bay's pet bereavement seminar Saturday in Largo. They discussed what to expect when a pet is near death. They discussed how to cope, and how to focus on memories.

Pets live in 71-million American homes. Some regard them as children. Constant companions. Therapists and best friends.

Sometimes, pets stir up passions.

Take Valentine, the late Labrador belonging to Sen. Jim King of Jacksonville. King helped change state law so humans can be buried with their animal's ashes. King plans to rest in peace with Valentine, a gift from his wife.

And take Trouble, Leona Helmsley's white Maltese. Trouble famously banked a $12-million trust from Helmsley's will when the billionaire died last year.

Skeptics scoff. Can an animal death really cause trauma? Cardoso admits many of her friends don't understand how she feels.

But Finnis says pet death can be more devastating than human death. Pets are often a mirror image of the owner — like the yappy next-door neighbor with the yappy little dog. They represent personal identity.

Humans are flawed. Grumpy. Rude. Irritable. But animals respond with love.

"I really believe that people don't know what to do with their pain," Finnis said.

Even the toughest types break down, said Keenan Knopke, president of Curlew Hills Pet Cemetery in Palm Harbor. His cemetery provides a final resting place for many police dogs, and he sees the officers who come to remember them. "We've watched grown men and ladies who every day carry a gun and stand on the front line for our safety bawl their eyes out," he said.

It's imperative to find a final place for your pet, Knopke said. Grief is normal, but you've got to move along and make a decision.

It doesn't have to be a cemetery. Sprinkle the ashes in your grass. Wear them in a piece of jewelry. Make a scrapbook. Once, Knopke buried a cockatiel in a Crest toothpaste box his back yard.

It's about having a place to return and reflect — however unsophisticated it may be.

"We've all flushed the fish," he said. "But we remember them."

Stephanie Hayes can be reached at shayes@sptimes.com or (727) 893-8857.

When pet dies, grief may linger 04/19/08 [Last modified: Monday, April 21, 2008 3:04pm]
Photo reprints | Article reprints

    

Join the discussion: Click to view comments, add yours

Loading...
  1. Kriseman invites Steph Curry to St. Pete on Twitter

    Blogs

    Mayor Rick Kriseman is no stranger to tweaking President Donald Trump on social media.

    Mayor Rick Kriseman took to Twitter Saturday evening to wade into President Donald Trump's latest social media scuffle
  2. Death toll, humanitarian crisis grow in Puerto Rico

    World

    SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico — A humanitarian crisis grew Saturday in Puerto Rico as towns were left without fresh water, fuel, power or phone service following Hurricane Maria's devastating passage across the island.

    Crew members assess electrical lines in the aftermath of Hurricane Maria on Friday in Puerto Rico. Mobile communications systems are being flown in but “it’s going to take a while.”
  3. N. Korea says strike against U.S. mainland is 'inevitable'

    World

    North Korea's foreign minister warned Saturday that a strike against the U.S. mainland is "inevitable" because President Donald Trump mocked leader Kim Jong Un with the belittling nickname "little rocketman."

  4. All-eyes photo gallery: Florida State Seminoles loss to the N.C. State Wolfpack

    News

    View a gallery of images from the Florida State Seminoles 27-21 loss to the N.C. State Wolfpack Saturday in Tallahassee. The Seminoles will face Wake Forest on Saturday, Sept. 30 in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

    Florida State Seminoles fans sing the fight song during the Florida State Seminoles game against the North Carolina State Wolfpack on September 23, 2017, at Doak Campbell Stadium in Tallahassee, Fla.  At the half, North Carolina State Wolfpack 17, Florida State Seminoles 10.
  5. Helicopter, small aircraft collide at Clearwater Air Park

    News

    CLEARWATER — Two people suffered minor injuries after a helicopter and a small aircraft collided late Saturday afternoon at Clearwater Air Park, 1000 N Hercules Ave.

    Clearwater Fire Department emergency personal douse a plane with fire retardant after the plane crashed into a helicopter at Clearwater Air Park 1000 N Hercules Ave. Saturday, Sept. 23, 2017. According to Clearwater Fire two people sustained minor injuries. [Photo by Clearwater Fire Department]