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The invention of brinner, the importance of the five-second rule and the value of the smell test all came about back in the day when I had to watch the kids by myself.
I recently recalled those moments when one of my friends embarked on a girls-only trip to Napa Valley. She mentioned how fortunate they were to have good husbands willing to watch the kids while they toured California wineries and relived old sorority tales.
I told her they should bestow praise on their men for stepping up, but not as much as they think. Most dads actually enjoy a few days of unfettered parenting.
We may express all kinds of regret and woe while our wives pack, but as soon as that significant other walks out the door we take a deep breath and exclaim, "I got this."
We become self-assured and determined to handle the daily tasks of raising a family — largely by abandoning those tasks.
Structure and rules fall to the wayside. Routines and meal plans get tossed. When mom is out of town, we embrace the forgotten ways of bachelorhood.
Joyfully.
Hey dad, what's for breakfast?
Kids, it's time I prepare you for college. Get that cold pizza out of the refrigerator and let me show what the good life is all about.
That's right. If they want chocolate for lunch and popcorn for dinner, don't call it poor nutrition.
Call it freedom.
Yeah, I took them to the International House of Pancakes for supper. And when they asked if they could order a Belgian waffle, I said most definitely.
Ever since, my younger son has raved about "brinner," breakfast + dinner.
And not only did I let them snatch a fallen french fry off the floor and put it back in their mouth, I made sure they told their mother they learned about the five-second rule from some kid at school.
Of course, I do pay attention to their health. Once when mom was away, we went bike riding — to Dairy Queen.
Oh, and I'm convinced those school-rush mornings go smoother, partly because I actually help them get ready instead of watching television, and partly because I make it clear that getting to school on time isn't as important as mom makes it out to be.
Well, it isn't.
Hey dad, I want to wear this shirt to school, but I'm not sure if it's clean.
Well son, smell it. That's right, sniff the armpits and if you're still standing, you can wear it to school.
Admittedly, the chaos resulting from my "good life" parenting approach typically prompts me to install a degree of discipline after two or three days. And if they ever get sick, I'm calling and asking her to come home early.
But for the most part, independent time with the kids is just that — a chance to impart your own parenting philosophies and prove yourself a worthy father.
My friend called me the next day from Napa and offered that her husband completely blew off nap time.
Of the other two husbands, one had taken the kids to Red Robin for giant cheeseburgers and the other had gone to Baskin-Robbins — for lunch.
I couldn't have been more proud of those guys.
That's all I'm saying.
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