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The challenge was simple:
Convince me the St. Petersburg Police Department needs a new headquarters.
That's all. Don't tell me a new facility would be nice. Don't tell me it would be more comfortable. Don't tell me all the cool police departments have one.
Convince me it is absolutely necessary here in St. Pete.
It took about 12 seconds for police officials to jump at the offer. No deliberations. No conditions. Just a how-soon-can-you-get-over-here kind of confidence.
And so for more than two hours I walked across streets, atop buildings, below ground and in and out of too many closets disguised as offices.
I smelled a storage room bathed in marijuana, an electrical room encased in mold and an evidence room with a hard-to-describe stink. Had my tour guide asked, I would have gladly stopped there and explained he doesn't need to show me any more.
You had me at bodily fluids.
That's how dumpy the place is. There is a makeshift evidence room so crammed with boxes and so little ventilation you can smell the sweat, blood and other assorted unmentionables on the clothes and items stored in there.
It isn't just uncomfortable, it is unhealthy. It isn't just inefficient, it is a hindrance. It isn't just ugly, it is dangerous.
"You're operating a 21st century law enforcement agency in a vintage 20th century building," said Michael McDonald, assistant director of administrative services for police. "The reality is they're incongruent."
Naturally, money is the reason this is an issue. The original plan, some years ago, was for Penny for Pinellas funds to generate about $50 million for construction of a new building. Turns out, the 1-cent sales tax will provide only about $30 million.
Since plans for a new building across the street from the current headquarters have estimates of $60 million or so, we have what you might call an accounting issue.
And the current climate in the city does not seem to favor raising taxes or borrowing money for a new police facility. So, instead, we have an impasse. And that's regrettable. It is also shortsighted. And probably foolish.
This is not a problem that will go away. This isn't a baseball stadium. It isn't a quality-of-life issue. A modern police department is a necessity, and St. Pete is living in the dark ages when it comes to facilities and equipment.
Television programs such as CSI have made forensic police work seem cutting-edge cool. The forensics department in St. Pete looks like your neighbor's garage. Equipment stacked in corners and under counters. Antiquated devices and borrowed furniture.
"There's what you see on TV, and then there's reality," said forensics chief Ray Waldo. "And then after that, there is our reality."
The ballistics chamber consists of a dirt-filled barrel in a garage. Prisoners are transferred to county jail vans in a parking lot off Central Avenue within shouting distance of customers at Ferg's bar. Interview rooms have no two-way mirrors or even door locks.
If this was a restaurant, OSHA would close it. If it was a school, the fire department would evacuate it. If it was your home, you would give arson a passing thought.
The price tag is large, but the need is real. Somehow, St. Pete must find an answer.
John Romano can be reached at romano@tampabay.com.
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