PALM BAY — A Central Florida mother charged with killing her three children told a deputy on the way to the hospital that she didn't deserve to live.
According to notes that recently became public record as part of court proceedings, Jessica McCarty told a detective she was upset that officers didn't kill her.
"I don't deserve to live," she told Palm Bay Detective Lewis Jones, according to handwritten notes Jones took as they drove to Holmes Regional Medical Center and while in the emergency room. "I wish I would have finished the job."
Authorities say McCarty refused orders to drop a knife when they shot her with a bean bag round.
McCarty's family said she has struggled with mental illness for years and had tried to commit suicide before.
When authorities arrived at her home, they found McCarty outside with the knife and her 7-year-old and 6-year-old dead inside. Her 5-month-old son later died at the hospital.
McCarty has been charged with three counts of first-degree murder. The state is seeking the death penalty.