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After cremation, a shock: Woman in the coffin wasn't Mom

 
Leroy McDonald  and some of his brothers described a sort of collective acceptance.
Leroy McDonald and some of his brothers described a sort of collective acceptance.
Published March 22, 2016

NEW YORK — After a long battle with cancer, Val-Jean McDonald, mother of eight sons, with more than 20 grandchildren, almost as many great-grandchildren and three great-great-grandchildren, succumbed on Dec. 18 at the age of 81.

Her funeral, 11 days later, attracted scores of mourners to Union Baptist Church in Harlem: her sons, from Manhattan, New Jersey, Georgia, Texas and Australia; other relatives and friends; and people who had never met her but knew her children.

They all filed past the open coffin, seeing familiar remnants of McDonald's life: a favorite pink blouse and white suit, and her finest jewelry.

"Why did they cut off all her hair?" a son, Errol McDonald, 57, remembers thinking. "Maybe it's the cancer."

But sometimes children see what adults cannot. Adults rationalize. Children call it like it is.

"My 10-year-old son said, 'Daddy, that's not Grandma,' " recalled McDonald, a school maintenance worker in Manhattan. "I said, 'Yes, that's what happens,' " he told the boy, explaining that people can look different in death.

The next day, the family attended Val-Jean McDonald's cremation.

Six days passed. Then, a manager from McCall's Bronxwood Funeral Home in the Bronx, which had handled the arrangements, called another of McDonald's sons, the Rev. Richard McDonald, with shattering news, he said.

"She says, 'That body was not your mother,' " Richard McDonald said in an interview. " 'Your mother is still here.' "

The revelation left McDonald's family angry and incredulous, and asking themselves hard questions: How could so many people not have recognized that the woman in the coffin was not Val-Jean McDonald? How could her sons have convinced themselves that this stranger was their mother?

And how could a funeral home make such a mistake?

A spokesman for McCall's, George Arzt, declined to discuss specifics of the episode. "We have spoken to the families affected and acknowledged our deepest sorrows," he said.

The McDonald family has, until now, told few people about what happened.

The state's Division of Cemeteries and the Bureau of Funeral Directing is investigating.

Several of the McDonald brothers described a sort of collective acceptance that while the woman had not looked exactly like their mother, it was plausible that the combination of her time at the hospital on a respirator and the embalming process had altered her appearance. In short, they had all seen what they wanted to see — their mother.

"It's shameful," Richard McDonald said.

The brothers scheduled another cremation on Jan. 9.

Side-by-side photos of the two women in their coffins suggest they were roughly the same age, size and complexion. The McDonald family did not learn the names of the other woman or her family.