Clear79° FULL FORECASTClear79° FULL FORECAST
Make us your home page
Instagram

Today’s top headlines delivered to you daily.

(View our Privacy Policy)

1272076 2038-01-18 05:00:00.0 UTC 2038-01-18T00:00:00.000-05:00 2013-01-26 08:30:00.0 UTC 2013-01-26T03:30:00.000-05:00 putting-the-me-in-retirement published 2013-01-24 21:46:57.0 UTC 2013-01-24T16:46:57.000-05:00 news/perspective DTI 102166964 To: The Boss Re: My retirement Here's my proposal: I stop working immediately. You pay me $400,000 a year for the next 20 years. That's it. I know these terms might seem a little generous, but it's no more or less than the deal recently worked out between former House Majority Leader Dick Armey, R-Texas, and the tea party organization FreedomWorks, which he helped found and with which he was feuding. Sure, as severance packages go, this one seems Bobbitt-like in its overkill. It may even sound suspicious, but as Armey earnestly explained, he "couldn't leave with empty pockets," and he'll "never have to work again forever." These are humble goals I share. The details of his case are slightly different from mine, but the principles are the same. Armey apparently had begun to become an embarrassment to the organization, and vice versa. The former congressman had been rumbling about misuse of funds; insurrections were discussed; lawsuits were feared; armed guards were allegedly used to provide muscle for interoffice confrontations, etc. In short, things had gotten messy all around. Finally, the disagreement was resolved with what some cynics might term "hush money" or, even worse, "extortion payoffs," but I would not. Inasmuch as I am proposing a similar arrangement, I prefer to call this sort of deal an "adorable bunny rabbit nose." So: In return for the bucks, I will agree to cease writing altogether. Thus, the Washington Post will no longer endure the ongoing embarrassment that I have proved to be; to wit, we will end the weekly threat to the paper's venerable reputation brought on by my irredeemably vulgar and immature column and my wildly intemperate online political ravings, which have gotten fairly extreme and might get even more unwise and indefensible real soon, if you get my drift. Further, the risk would be entirely eliminated that, at some point in the future, I might begin to indiscriminately libel libel lawyers. And most to the point, I would agree to remain silent about those tawdry, dishonest and loathsome corporate practices that in my 20 years at this newspaper I have witnessed or learned about or completely invented out of whole cloth. You have my address. As soon as the first check clears, you have my silence. Now, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that giving in to such a shameless threat, and dispensing such vast amounts of money in return for no work, would not just be unethical but also a deep betrayal of the Post's shareholders. Nonsense. That's as ridiculous a notion as suggesting that the deal between Armey and FreedomWorks — financed by a member of the group's board of directors — would be a betrayal of the tens of thousands of grass-roots tea party enthusiasts, men and women largely of limited means whose overriding political passion is reining in spending and waste, and fighting what they see as the corruption of business-as-usual politicians. Call it what you will. In my own view, it is not remotely a "betrayal." As I see it, it is more "a sweet burst of juicy caramel goodness." © 2013 Washington Post Writers Group By Gene Weingarten, Washington Post News, Perspective Putting the 'me' in 'retirement' PER Perspective Putting the 'me' in 'retirement' AP DATASTREAM TEST 5 Washington Post - Writers Group per_weingarten012713 Putting the 'me' in 'retirement' 2013-01-27 05:00:00.0 UTC 2013-01-27T00:00:00.000-05:00 false templatedata/tampabaytimes/StaffArticle/data/2013/01/26/102166964-putting-the-me-in-retirement StaffArticle news,perspectivePerspectiveTo: The BossRe: My retirementHere's my proposal: I stop working immediately. You pay me $400,000 a year for the next 20 years. That's it.News, PerspectiveNews, Perspective<span style="display:none;" class="author vcard"><span class="fn">GENE WEINGARTEN</span></span><span style="display:none;" class="source-org vcard"><span class="org fn">Washington Post - Writers Group</span></span><a rel="item-license" href="http://www.ap.org/company/Terms-conditions" id="license-1272076">Copyright: For copyright information, please check with the distributor of this item, Washington Post - Writers Group.</a>Washington Post - Writers Group 2288719 2016-08-09 01:58:57.0 UTC 3 Weeks Ago japans-emperor-humbly-suggests-let-me-retire news/world Japan's emperor humbly suggests: Let me retire StaffArticle 2284014 2016-07-03 01:29:49.0 UTC 2 Months Ago pick-me news/humaninterest Pick me! StaffArticle 2270008 2016-03-19 03:40:23.0 UTC 5 Months Ago four-ways-to-delay-retirement news/business/markets Four ways to delay retirement StaffArticle <p><i>To: The Boss</i></p> <p><i>Re: My retirement</i></p> <p></p> <p>Here's my proposal: I stop working immediately. You pay me $400,000 a year for the next 20 years. That's it.</p> <p>I know these terms might seem a little generous, but it's no more or less than the deal recently worked out between former House Majority Leader Dick Armey, R-Texas, and the tea party organization FreedomWorks, which he helped found and with which he was feuding. Sure, as severance packages go, this one seems Bobbitt-like in its overkill. It may even sound suspicious, but as Armey earnestly explained, he &quot;couldn't leave with empty pockets,&quot; and he'll &quot;never have to work again forever.&quot; These are humble goals I share.</p> <p>The details of his case are slightly different from mine, but the principles are the same. Armey apparently had begun to become an embarrassment to the organization, and vice versa. The former congressman had been rumbling about misuse of funds; insurrections were discussed; lawsuits were feared; armed guards were allegedly used to provide muscle for interoffice confrontations, etc. In short, things had gotten messy all around. Finally, the disagreement was resolved with what some cynics might term &quot;hush money&quot; or, even worse, &quot;extortion payoffs,&quot; but I would not. Inasmuch as I am proposing a similar arrangement, I prefer to call this sort of deal an &quot;adorable bunny rabbit nose.&quot;</p> <p><i>So:</i> In return for the bucks, I will agree to cease writing altogether. Thus, the <i>Washington Post</i> will no longer endure the ongoing embarrassment that I have proved to be; to wit, we will end the weekly threat to the paper's venerable reputation brought on by my irredeemably vulgar and immature column and my wildly intemperate online political ravings, which have gotten fairly extreme and might get even more unwise and indefensible real soon, if you get my drift. Further, the risk would be entirely eliminated that, at some point in the future, I might begin to indiscriminately libel libel lawyers. And most to the point, I would agree to remain silent about those tawdry, dishonest and loathsome corporate practices that in my 20 years at this newspaper I have witnessed or learned about or completely invented out of whole cloth.</p> <p>You have my address. As soon as the first check clears, you have my silence.</p> <p>Now, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that giving in to such a shameless threat, and dispensing such vast amounts of money in return for no work, would not just be unethical but also a deep betrayal of the <i>Post</i>'s shareholders.</p> <p>Nonsense. That's as ridiculous a notion as suggesting that the deal between Armey and FreedomWorks — financed by a member of the group's board of directors — would be a betrayal of the tens of thousands of grass-roots tea party enthusiasts, men and women largely of limited means whose overriding political passion is reining in spending and waste, and fighting what they see as the corruption of business-as-usual politicians.</p> <p>Call it what you will. In my own view, it is not remotely a &quot;betrayal.&quot; As I see it, it is more &quot;a sweet burst of juicy caramel goodness.&quot;</p> <p>&copy; 2013 Washington Post Writers Group </p> <p></p>trueruntime2016-08-30 05:37:21