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Andy Borowitz | Satire

Satire: Britney cites policy rifts with Obama

Infuriated by Sen. John McCain's anti-Obama ad in which he compared the presumptive Democratic nominee to celebrities Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, the two tabloid mainstays fought back with an eviscerating anti-McCain spot of their own.

While Spears and Hilton said they had planned to remain on the sidelines during the 2008 presidential campaign, Sen. McCain's negative ad "left us no choice," they said today.

"We don't mind John McCain going after us if he sticks to the facts," Spears said at a New York news conference. "But we are sick of the distortions about our record."

Hilton said that the McCain ad appeared to link herself and Spears to Sen. Obama, leading the casual viewer to conclude that the three of them had "the same energy policy."

"Nothing could be further from the truth," Spears said. "Both of us strongly favor offshore drilling to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

However, both women later clarified their comments, saying they would need to study Obama's policy more closely, as he seems to be moving closer toward their views on that issue, though they still have substantive differences on the strategic oil reserve.

Hilton said she was also "offended" by the implication that she and Spears favor a tax on electricity: "We have both been very clear on that issue."

In their anti-McCain spot, the two starlets fight fire with fire, comparing Sen. McCain to the Joker from the smash-hit film The Dark Knight.

"It's perfectly fair," Spears said of the ad. "They both have pasty white faces and totally creepy smiles."

Elsewhere, as the Olympics get under way, Chinese officials confiscated the poles of the pole vaulting team to prevent athletes from going over the wall.

Satire: Britney cites policy rifts with Obama 08/09/08 [Last modified: Tuesday, November 2, 2010 10:29am]
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