Make us your home page

Today’s top headlines delivered to you daily.

(View our Privacy Policy)


Andy Borowitz


Satire: McCain dispatches Biden to swing states

In a move unprecedented in the annals of presidential politics, Republican presidential nominee John McCain announced today that he was sending Democratic vice presidential nominee Joseph Biden on a campaign trip to several key swing states.

"I told Joe, I will pay your plane fare, hotels, all your expenses," Sen. McCain said. "Just get out there and say whatever's on your mind, my friend."

McCain added one small caveat: "Whatever you do, don't edit yourself."

The Arizona senator's unusual proposal is part of what one aide called the campaign's "Two Joes" strategy.

"For the next two weeks, this campaign is going to be all about two Joes," said McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds. "Joe the Plumber and Joe the Blabber."

But the McCain campaign's plans were short-lived as Sen. Barack Obama today announced plans of his own for his talkative running mate: "Between now and the election, Joe Biden will be reaching out to voters in Antarctica and possibly the moon."

Biden said he was grateful for the assignment, adding, "I will be proud to serve under Barack Obama, especially when one of our enemies tries to test him with a full-on nuclear attack. Kerblooey!!!!"

Satire: McCain dispatches Biden to swing states 10/25/08 [Last modified: Monday, October 27, 2008 11:43am]
Photo reprints | Article reprints

© 2017 Tampa Bay Times


Join the discussion: Click to view comments, add yours