Thursday, November 23, 2017
Politics

Romano: Vice President Scott? Vice President Crist? Thanks for nothing, America

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Once more, the nation has spoken to Florida.

And in that regal tone to which we have become accustomed, passed along this unmistakable message:

Pfffftttt.

When it comes to national elections, America is obsessed with Florida's demographics, intrigued with Florida's potential fundraising and desperate for Florida's voters.

As for our actual politicians, America will pass.

Again.

The former governor who was supposed to be the front-runner and had an abundance of cash, if not charm, dropped out of the presidential race months ago. The handsome, young senator who was supposed to be the future face of the Republican Party couldn't even outlast the smarmy Texan the rest of the Senate hates.

And now it's looking like our senior senator is probably not on the short list of VP candidates because the Democrats can't risk losing a Senate seat. Or so they say. And our current governor has no chance no matter how much he stalks Donald Trump.

So, if you're scoring at home, that would make Florida 0-for-171 years.

Since becoming a bona fide state, Florida has yet to put one of its elected politicians in the White House as either a president or vice president.

Despite our best efforts to keep our crazy close to the vest, it appears America is on to us.

In some ways, Florida is like the playground loser with the really nice toys. The rest of the country has no desire to play with us, but still keeps us nearby to take advantage of all of our goodies.

Think about the last few election cycles. Marco Rubio was supposedly a hot choice for VP in 2012 before Mitt Romney went with Paul Ryan. For a moment back in 2008, there was talk that Charlie Crist might have a shot on John McCain's ticket. And Bob Graham was mentioned as a possible vice president for both John Kerry and Al Gore.

In other words, we couldn't even get seats on the last four losing tickets.

Meanwhile, a governor from Arkansas somehow got elected president. Georgia, too. Heck, three of the last nine presidents have come from Texas. Texas!

Our last two vice presidents have been a senator from Delaware and a congressman from Wyoming. Nothing against those fine states, but their population — combined — is about 1 million residents fewer than Miami-Dade County. For grits sake, even Alabama has had a former senator rise to the office of vice president.

Now, there are some caveats to Florida's losing streak. Andrew Jackson, who would go on to become the nation's seventh president, was the military governor of Florida for about nine months in 1821. But it was not an elected position, and it was before Florida was even a state.

And some might suggest Donald Trump could be Florida's first president. But a part-time home in Palm Beach makes him no more of a Floridian than John Kennedy once was.

No, when it comes to being a political feeder system, the third-largest state in the union is the equivalent of some forgotten outpost in baseball's lowest minor leagues.

As someone who has had a front-row seat to see our elected officials in action, I have only one thing to say about the nation's unfair, unreasonable and merciless snubbing of Florida's best politicians:

Thank you, America.

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