Up at the Courthouse
Up at the courthouse, quick, quick, quick, the district court was really slick,
To steal dough for its Taj Mahal, mahogany and granite, y'all!
Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go? Ho, ho, ho! Now they'll go,
In private loos with soundproof walls, and fancy artwork in the halls!
Rick Scott, the Long-shot Candidate
Rick Scott, the long-shot candidate, had a lot of dough to spend, but when he started running, no one ever thought he'd win.
All of the other Republicans used to laugh and call him names; they wanted Bill McCollum to play the standard Tally game.
Then one shiny 'lection night, the voters came to say:
"Though you could have been indicted, McCollum leaves us unexcited."
Then how the lobbyists loved him, and gladly shouted one and all,
"Rick Scott, the long-shot candidate, here's $2 million for your ball!"
God Rest Ye Merry, Democrats
God rest ye merry, Democrats, by voters now disdained, guilt by assoc-i-a-a-tion with that whole health-care thing,
And stim-u-lus reviled by Fox, Reed- and Pelosi-stained,
And Joe Biden, and Barack Obama too, (Obama too), by Joe Biden and Barack O-bama too.
Take the cash from public schools, hand it out with brand-new rules,
It's a logical step to pay for Country Club Prep, with the dough that comes from Voucher Wonderland!
In the springtime we'll again kill tenure, and stick the public teachers with more tests,
If they squawk we'll tell them, "Well, so then you're
"A dinosaur, 'cause private schools are best!"
Very soon, we'll bust the union, send K-through-12 to ruin,
While the tax money goes to everybody who knows that it's time to rip off Voucher Wonderland.
O, Little Town of St. Pete Beach
O, little town of St. Pete Beach, how bitter is your strife,
O'er whether you will build new things, or give such plans the knife.
The rest of us have lost hope that you might reconcile,
For since I started writing this, six more lawsuits were filed.
Good Queen Pam-e-las
Good Queen Pam-e-las looked out on her would-be successors,
Privately she reckoned them, some greater, and some lesser,
"Eight years I have set things straight," she said, and did not rue it,
"But if the wrong one wins, he'll need just six weeks to undo-oo it."
I Saw the Florida Chamber of Commerce Kissing Mike Haridopolos
(Note: No room for lyrics after printing the title.)