Make us your home page
Instagram

Today’s top headlines delivered to you daily.

(View our Privacy Policy)

Howard Troxler comes a-caroling — again

Up at the Courthouse

Up at the courthouse, quick, quick, quick, the district court was really slick,

To steal dough for its Taj Mahal, mahogany and granite, y'all!

Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn't go? Ho, ho, ho! Now they'll go,

In private loos with soundproof walls, and fancy artwork in the halls!

Rick Scott, the Long-shot Candidate

Rick Scott, the long-shot candidate, had a lot of dough to spend, but when he started running, no one ever thought he'd win.

All of the other Republicans used to laugh and call him names; they wanted Bill McCollum to play the standard Tally game.

Then one shiny 'lection night, the voters came to say:

"Though you could have been indicted, McCollum leaves us unexcited."

Then how the lobbyists loved him, and gladly shouted one and all,

"Rick Scott, the long-shot candidate, here's $2 million for your ball!"

God Rest Ye Merry, Democrats

God rest ye merry, Democrats, by voters now disdained, guilt by assoc-i-a-a-tion with that whole health-care thing,

And stim-u-lus reviled by Fox, Reed- and Pelosi-stained,

And Joe Biden, and Barack Obama too, (Obama too), by Joe Biden and Barack O-bama too.

Voucher Wonderland

Take the cash from public schools, hand it out with brand-new rules,

It's a logical step to pay for Country Club Prep, with the dough that comes from Voucher Wonderland!

In the springtime we'll again kill tenure, and stick the public teachers with more tests,

If they squawk we'll tell them, "Well, so then you're

"A dinosaur, 'cause private schools are best!"

Very soon, we'll bust the union, send K-through-12 to ruin,

While the tax money goes to everybody who knows that it's time to rip off Voucher Wonderland.

O, Little Town of St. Pete Beach

O, little town of St. Pete Beach, how bitter is your strife,

O'er whether you will build new things, or give such plans the knife.

The rest of us have lost hope that you might reconcile,

For since I started writing this, six more lawsuits were filed.

Good Queen Pam-e-las

Good Queen Pam-e-las looked out on her would-be successors,

Privately she reckoned them, some greater, and some lesser,

"Eight years I have set things straight," she said, and did not rue it,

"But if the wrong one wins, he'll need just six weeks to undo-oo it."

I Saw the Florida Chamber of Commerce Kissing Mike Haridopolos

(Note: No room for lyrics after printing the title.)

Howard Troxler comes a-caroling — again 12/22/10 [Last modified: Thursday, December 23, 2010 7:10am]
Photo reprints | Article reprints

© 2017 Tampa Bay Times

    

Join the discussion: Click to view comments, add yours

Loading...
  1. Watch Round 3 of Feeding Tampa Bay's Epic Chef Showdown

    Cooking

    TAMPA — Round 3 of the third annual Epic Chef Showdown to benefit Feeding Tampa Bay is Monday night, and you can watch it live right here.

    Chef Richard Bergendale of The Mill restaurant and Sous Chef Jeff Thornsberry of Locale Market competed in Round 1 of the Epic Chef Showdown. [Epicurean Hotel / Feeding Tampa Bay]
  2. Fishing crew catches 926-pound shark off New Jersey coast

    Nation

    BRIELLE, N.J. — A fishing crew has reeled in a 926-pound Mako shark, and New Jersey officials say it's the biggest shark catch in the state's history.

    A photo provided by Jenny Lee Sportfishing shows a 926-pound Mako shark reeled in by the ship's crew. From left, Mark Miccio, Mark Miccio, Matt Miccio and Steve Miccio pose with the shark at Hoffmann Marina in Brielle, N.J. Environmental officials say it's the biggest shark catch in the state's history. [Jenny Lee Sportfishing via AP]
  3. VIDEO: Obamacare is "death,' President Trump says

    National

    WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump on Monday made a late-hour appeal to senators — targeting members of his own party — to move forward with debate over faltering Republican legislation to overhaul the Affordable Care Act.

    President Donald Trump speaks about healthcare, Monday, July 24, 2017, in the Blue Room of the White House in Washington.[Alex Brandon | Associated Press]
  4. Dragon ride in Harry Potter section of Universal closing for new themed ride

    Florida

    Universal Orlando announced Monday that it will close Dragon Challenge for a new "highly themed" Harry Potter ride to open in 2019 — sending wizard fans into a guessing game with hopes for a Floo Powder Network or the maze from the Triwizard Tournament.

    Universal Orlando announced Monday that it will close Dragon Challenge on Sept. 5 for a new "highly themed" Harry Potter ride to open in 2019. The ride, originally the Dueling Dragons roller coaster, was renamed and incorporated into the Wizarding World of Harry Potter when the hugely popular area opened in 2010.
  5. CDC changes Zika virus guidance for pregnant women

    Federal health officials are changing their testing recommendations for pregnant women who may be exposed to the Zika virus through travel or sex or because of where they live.