FLORIDA STATE UNIVERSITY
"Pecunia veritas est"*
2011 COURSE CATALOG
ECON 201: FREE MARKET THEORY. Sponsored and faculty approved by: Charles G. Koch Charitable Foundation. Evils of government regulation; wisdom of tax cuts for the rich; rehabilitation of trickle-down theory. 3 credit hours.
POLI SCI 400: ADVANCED SOROS. Sponsored and faculty approved by: Soros Fund Management. Topics include advancement of international socialist conspiracy; legalization of drugs. 3 credit hours.
GEOLOGY 145: OIL SPILLS REVISITED. Sponsored and faculty approved by: British Petroleum. Beneficial effects of crude-oil application to wildlife, ocean bottoms; positive effects on financial market speculation. 3 credit hours; 1 lab hour observing ducks being cleaned by free market forces.
MATH 314: CONSERVATIVE CALCULUS. Sponsored and faculty approved by: TBA (bidding still in progress). Defense of the new "math-er" movement. Refutation of prevailing liberal propaganda regarding value of pi and the cultural relativism implied by "imaginary" numbers. 3 credit hours.
AGRI SCIENCE 200: OUR FRIEND FERTILIZER. Sponsored and faculty approved by: the Mosaic Co. Benefits of fertilizer application and why local regulations are unfair. Lecture topics include "At Least an Algae Bloom Has Pretty Colors." 3 credit hours. (Taught in conjunction with the University of Florida.)
AGRI SCIENCE 202: OUR FRIEND CORN SYRUP. Sponsored and faculty approved by: American Corn Council and DiabTech Inc., makers of adult-onset diabetes pharmaceuticals. Why the entire U.S. food supply should be converted to high-fructose corn syrup. 3 credit hours.
PUBLIC ADMIN 305: MODERN PLANNING PRACTICE. Sponsored and faculty approved by: Florida Chamber of Commerce. Why communities do not need to consider the impacts of growth on traffic, schools and other services. 3 credit hours.
POLI SCI 400: JUST A RICH GUY WHO PAID US ENOUGH TO OFFER HIS OWN COURSE. Sponsor and faculty screener: Fred Z. Jernigan, age 56, who will explain how things really work. 1 credit hour.
POLI SCI 400: EXPLORATION OF U.S. CITIZENSHIP. Sponsored and faculty approved by: Committee of Real Americans, If You Know What We Mean, and We Think You Do. Lecture topics include forensic examination of birth certificates; deconstruction of constitutional citizenship; field trip to Kenya; legal claims that Hawaii was never a valid state in the first place. 3 credit hours.
METEOROLOGY 300: CLIMATE 'CHANGE.' Sponsored and faculty approved by: National Council on Digging Up Fossil Fuels and Setting Them on Fire. Topics include, "It Snowed Last Winter Up North, Didn't It?" 3 credit hours.
EDU 300: TRUTH AND CRITICAL THINKING. Sponsored and faculty approved by: No one outside the university. Description of traditional academic inquiry as the search for knowledge and insight regardless of who pays for it. (May be canceled for lack of interest.)
* "Money is truth."