Make us your home page

Today’s top headlines delivered to you daily.

(View our Privacy Policy)

The year as it really happened, Part Two

The partly fake but partly true year 2008 in review, July-December:

July 1: Old Spice names Tampa nation's seventh-sweatiest city. St. Petersburg protests at being left out.

July 3: St. Petersburg caught printing City Council agendas with invisible ink.

July 11: Obnoxiousness not a crime, says jury in Clearwater grandmother-at-McDonald's case. Red Sox and Yankees fans relieved.

July 16: Florida toilet-paper company claims exemption from state law based on national-security grounds. Investigation was on a roll, but then it stalled. State vows to get to bottom of case. Stop it. Just stop it now.

July 17: Beloved icon Snooty the Manatee turns 60. Demands all the younger manatees get off his lawn.

July 29: St. Petersburg art gallery busted for naked man hanging from ceiling. Supply inappropriate joke here.

Aug. 8: New peek-under-clothes machine unveiled at airport. Outraged St. Petersburg Times runs photograph of female subject's contours 126 times in protest.

Aug. 14: Valpak for sale, but sale documents are accidentally thrown in the recycle bin without opening.

Aug. 15: Hillsborough school bus routes reassigned by random-number generator.

Aug. 15: Terry and Linda Bollea in court. Just in case you missed it.

Aug. 26: Record enrollment of 45,585 at University of South Florida. All assigned to same English class.

Sept. 12: Tampa zoo chief's denials are interrupted by delivery of large crate with air holes labeled "Lex's Kooky Marmoset Circus."

Sept. 13: Hillsborough commissioners change name of annual citizen honor to the "Whoever Gave Us the Most Money Award."

Sept. 19: Hillsborough County relies on advice from Ford Amphitheatre for setting allowable sound levels at Ford Amphitheatre. Next idea: "Self-ticketing" for speeders.

Oct. 6: State officials agree to protect freshwater turtles by changing slogan from "Danged Good Eatin'" to "Try Not to Take More Than 20 a Day, Purty Please."

Oct. 11: Tampa Bay Water red-faced to learn it failed to check the "No Cracks" option on reservoir contract.

Oct. 14: Mickey Mouse among fake names listed in voter-registration drives. Reply when asked whether he planned to vote: "Gnaw."

Oct. 15: State approves charges to customers for future power plants on Mars.

Oct. 18: Veterans Affairs workers accidentally shred their own paychecks instead of patient records.

Oct. 20: Pastors statewide urge "yes" vote on amendment banning the mote in thy neighbor's eye while ignoring the beam in thy own.

Oct. 23: Pinellas elections chief Deborah Clark limits early voting sites on the grounds that they "would just encourage voting."

Nov. 1: Entire body of Citizens homeowner policies transferred to "Fast Freddie's Discount Insurance Co."

Nov. 22: St. Petersburg annexes Tampa.

Dec. 3: John Gotti Jr. trial is transferred to New York after 19-million Floridians get a phone call saying, "Nice family you've got there."

Dec. 13: St. Petersburg hires the Florida Lottery to collect utility bills.

Dec. 30: Gov. Charlie Crist names committee of newspaper columnists to run state, saying, "If you're so smart, why not give it a try?"

Dec. 31: State sinks into ocean.

The year as it really happened, Part Two 12/29/08 [Last modified: Wednesday, December 31, 2008 4:46pm]
Photo reprints | Article reprints

© 2017 Tampa Bay Times


Join the discussion: Click to view comments, add yours

  1. Joe Maddon's return must be bittersweet for Rays fans


    If you are a Rays fan, you might have left Tropicana Field a little down on Tuesday night.

  2. [National Hurricane Center]
  3. With successful jewelry line, Durant High alum Carley Ochs enjoys 'incredible ride'



    As a child Carley Ochs played dress up, draped in her grandmother's furs.

    Founder Carley Ochs poses for a portrait in her Ford Bronco at the Bourbon & Boweties warehouse in Brandon, Fla. on September 19, 2017. Ochs is a Durant High and Florida State University graduate.
  4. Photo of the Day for September 20, 2017 - Where did Mom go?

    Human Interest

    Today's Photo of the Day comes from Stan Wooldridge of Temple Terrace, FL.

  5. Video: Maddon, in return to Trop, says Rays need new stadium

    The Heater

    Former Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon, now with the Chicago Cubs, speaks about the need to replace Tropicana Field during the first game of a two-game series in St. Petersburg on Sept. 20, 2017.

    Chicago Cubs manager Joe Maddon (70) watches the action in the second inning of the game between the Chicago Cubs and the Tampa Bay Rays at Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, Fla. on Tuesday, Sept. 19, 2017.