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Carlton: Is there a road in this town that's not under construction?

 
Columnist Sue Carlton asks, “Is there a square mile left in Tampa Bay free of road congestion or construction? Your kids were in diapers when work started on Interstate 275, and you could be stuck in traffic on the way to their high school graduations.” [Times files]
Columnist Sue Carlton asks, “Is there a square mile left in Tampa Bay free of road congestion or construction? Your kids were in diapers when work started on Interstate 275, and you could be stuck in traffic on the way to their high school graduations.” [Times files]
Published Feb. 5, 2016

This is a true story about getting around town. Or at least trying.

I'm driving from my office to a meeting in a downtown Tampa building not far away — except the street where I need to turn is now closed. Not just closed, but behind the orange traffic barrels and barricades, it looks like a war-torn, bombed-out city block.

Okay, regroup.

I dutifully turn at the "detour" sign, only to find construction workers busy as bees narrowing a four-lane street down to one for no immediately apparent reason. I inch forward through three painfully slow traffic light cycles, turn and find a whole new set of workers — these, jackhammering concrete in preparation for giant pipes nearby.

In all my maneuvering, I barely miss hitting a chunky curb blocking a new bicycle-only lane I swear was not there yesterday. Yet again I turn. Yet again I am stopped by a sign that says: ROAD CLOSED.

All of which is why it took nearly 30 cuss-under-your-breath minutes for a trip that should have been five.

This is our new normal.

Is there a square mile left in Tampa Bay free of road congestion or construction? Your kids were in diapers when work started on Interstate 275, and you could be stuck in traffic on the way to their high school graduations. People look forward to the Veterans Expressway like a root canal. The oddly named Boulevard alongside the University of Tampa — an important thoroughfare between South Tampa and neighborhoods north — has been shut down for so long in so many places that it's more fond memory than actual travel option. Random swaths of street being repaved go alarmingly bumpy beneath your tires. And a trip into Tampa from St. Petersburg on the Howard Frankland means a nice long water view as traffic halts back to the hump.

"I think that we're suffering from construction fatigue right now," says Hillsborough County Commissioner Ken Hagan.

"It's frustrating for everybody," says Tampa City Council member Harry Cohen, who that very day had fielded email complaints about speeders whipping though neighborhoods to avoid traffic construction and congestion.

Actually, there may be logical reasons for this sudden critical mass of a mess.

During the recession, projects got postponed and backlogged, and the needs snowballed. For fun, you can add in aging city pipes and water main breaks.

So we can take heart. We can sit breathing noxious fumes and calculating how late we'll be for work and think: Hey, at least the economy's better!

"It's challenging, but it's kind of what comes with progress," says Hillsborough Planning Commission executive director Melissa Zornitta. Clearly, she has the heart of both a planner and an optimist: "I get excited seeing the cranes. In the end, I think we'll be happy with the results."

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"It's like having surgery," says Cohen. "The patient has to go through a very unpleasant experience in order to get better."

Another travelogue: I am taking my short commute home, made longer by a critical street perpetually under construction. At least there was always something to do: Which lanes will be closed today, you get to wonder, and any clue as to why?

But on this day, the road is done. Bright new yellow lines snake down its middle, and there's a new and badly needed bike lane to boot, nary a barricade in sight. And I believe I heard angels sing.

Sue Carlton can be reached at carlton@tampabay.com.