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Joe Henderson: Lesson learned from six weeks of kitchen remodeling — never again!

 
A kitchen remodeling can be a transformative experience, preferably enjoyed just once. [Joe Henderson]
A kitchen remodeling can be a transformative experience, preferably enjoyed just once. [Joe Henderson]
Published Sept. 17, 2018

Two amazing events just took place at my house. I unloaded clean dishes from our dishwasher and rinsed my cereal bowl in the kitchen sink.

Yeah, I know. So what, right?

Well, when you've been without a kitchen for about six weeks, small things become big things. And at Casa Henderson, that simple exercise meant normal had finally arrived. Sort of.

The lovely Mrs. H and I had planned this kitchen renovation for months. Actually, she planned it and I did what all good husbands do, nodding yes to basically everything she suggested.

New cabinets. New countertops. A new pantry. Raised ceiling.

The whole smack.

Our house was built in the mid-1980s. It had one of those drop-down kitchen ceilings that must have looked really groovy 30-some years ago but was about 20 years past its prime. It had to go, along with just about everything else.

If you have ever taken on that challenge at your house, you know what's coming next. If you haven't, be forewarned.

It got real when Hugh, our one-man-gang contractor, begin demolishing the old cabinets. That meant our refrigerator was moved to the living room, where it stayed for several weeks.

We packed food, silverware, dishes and assorted other stuff in boxes and stored them in the living and family rooms. That led to a lot of questions like, "Honey, which box has the salt?"

Did you know you can cook yellow rice on a gas grill? I took a risk. It wasn't horrible.

Well, our stove was in the garage, along with the dishwasher. Our kitchen sink was on its way to Habitat For Humanity. Our microwave was on the dining room table, under a pile of stuff.

There are about 87 bazillion styles of cabinets from which to choose. Mrs. H looked at all of them — well, close — and I just kept nodding in agreement. Whatever you say, dearest.

Those spiffy new cabinets need handles. I had no clue that choosing a cabinet handle was a big deal, but it is.

Now, Mrs. H can be, oh, what's the word? Exacting.

She watches all those home renovation shows, critiques their work — yes, even you, Property Brothers — and she is much better at figuring out how things go together than me.

She is methodical and doesn't like to make major decisions until she has explored all the options.

All. The. Options.

"Honey, do you like this paint?"

"What do you think of these handles?"

"You like this color for the cabinets?"

"How about this one?"

"That one?"

And that was before we went looking for countertops.

Granite?

Quartz?

Marble?

We prowled through a couple hundred giant slabs of high-grade, low-grade, and medium-grade rock before settling on a piece of white granite mixed with black-and-gray speckly things.

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The cabinets were delivered a couple of weeks ago, and that's when we learned the new pantry was missing shelves. That meant about two more weeks of prowling through boxes in the living room looking for pasta or salt.

When they finally sent the shelves, Hugh went, "Uh oh," and started laughing.

That's not something you want to hear after six weeks of your fridge in the living room.

The company had sent the wrong hardware for the shelves.

But, I'm happy to report that we are almost at the finish line. The cabinets are in place. The fridge (icemaker!) is where it needs to be. The stove is out of the garage and it works. The microwave is installed over the stove.

The dishwasher works. We don't have to wash dishes in the bathroom any more.

The cabinets look great. Countertops look great. And I learned something valuable: The next time we do this — oh, who am I kidding.

There will be no "next time."