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Bad trends and silly ideas threaten to swamp state

By Ernest Hooper, Metro Columnist
In print: Monday, April 28, 2008

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I met an attractive young lady the other day who said she was thinking of becoming a halfback.

I was clueless because her shoulders were not broad enough to merit a spot in the Bucs backfield. Later, I learned halfbacks are Northern transplants who move "half-way back," say to Tennessee or North Carolina, when they grow disenchanted with the Sunshine State.

I'm told it's a common term among real estate folks. If you ask me, it's not a good sign when such a trend develops a cute nickname.

Tax swap: also known as a shell game. ...

Let me get this straight. We're facing a major budget crisis and the Legislature is spending time talking about those simulated bull testicles that people hang on their pickup truck bumpers? Well that's just nuts. ...

Seen on a bumper sticker: Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids. ...

People keep telling me the Rays should relocate to Tampa.

Don't they realize St. Petersburg would form a militia and storm across the Howard Frankland if the Rays moved across the bay? I can already see Mayor Rick Baker in a coonskin cap carrying a squirrel rifle. Look, everybody who whines about the drive (me included) just needs to get over it and go see a game. ...

Folks at the Patel Conservatory are particularly giddy about Weaving Time Into Tapestries, a dramatic production on Tuesday at 7 p.m. that will combine the talents of senior residents from University Village with seventh-grade students from the Learning Gate Community School. We talk about having respect for our elders, but here's an effort that actually fosters that spirit.

That's all I'm saying.