The surrogate
It begins with a woman who yearns for a baby and another who is willing and able to give her one. You can imagine the motives of the prospective parents. But what about the woman willing to carry a baby, give birth and then walk away?
Friday Night Rewind It doesn't matter which team you cheer for. We've got video previews of every high school football program in Hillsborough, Pinellas, Pasco and Hernando County.
Greg Aghoian, former president of New Tampa Little League, likes to coach fellow coaches.
TEMPLE TERRACE — If you're a youth coach in Hillsborough County, sooner or later your league sends you to "certification class." It's kind of like driving school. You hope your instructor will be funny or inspiring or at least give you some payoff for the four-hour investment of time.
Greg Aghoian gives you all that and a Nickelback soundtrack.
The former president of New Tampa Little League is not ha-ha funny. But he's sincere, he speaks from experience and he spices up his presentation with those funny Canadian video spots about overbearing parents.
In a recent session at the All People's Life Center, he summed up his views in two words: Just care. Care enough to respond correctly when a child is injured. Care enough to leave the field any time you feel unsafe because of lightning, ant hills or turf holes.
Care enough to look out for the child who's not a born athlete. "We're not here because we're going to promote the NFL,'' he said.
Care enough to keep them all engaged. "Make sure you speak to your players about something other than the sport you're involved with,'' he said.
Care enough to have a mission statement. Communicate it to players, assistants and parents.
Is your mission statement "just to win?" That's your choice. But understand that, in the end, only one team will win.
Is your mission statement to "just have fun" or to "learn"? Then don't blow a gasket when the referee robs you of a victory in a game where you still learned and you still had fun.
"Your mission statement must be reflected in every decision you make during your season.''
Our session degenerated into a near-shouting match when Aghoian declared we heap too much praise on kids today, rendering it virtually meaningless. You've seen the 10-year-old who motions for applause after a capable tackle or shot on goal.
We all related.
But when he cautioned us to stop praising "Little Buddy" for every bad swing at the T-ball, several guys rose up in defense of the hypothetical Little Buddy, who might have mustered all his courage to pick up that bat.
Who knew coaches could be such softies?
Afterward, Aghoian said he was okay with the dissenters. "I think I do get something through to every one of them,'' he said.
Sometimes, and here's where we all are softies, it's good to sit in a room and acknowledge what we feel deep down in our hearts, but don't want to admit for fear of sounding self-important.
We like to mentor.
We get all warm inside when a child who didn't believe in himself, or whose parents didn't believe in him, has a breakthrough moment.
My own favorite practice is called the "egg hunt,'' and I do it around Easter. Soccer balls become eggs, which the children have to collect in wicker baskets without using their hands. Every child initially insists he they can't do it, but within 10 minutes they figure it out. A new skill for them, a feel-good moment for me.
Aghoian raised his three children in Tampa Palms, a place that he calls "Fantasy Land,'' where you didn't worry about kids being hungry or neglected.
But he's aware of the many children who miss out on that fantasy. The coach might be their father and mother. They will imitate you. If you take off your cap and run your hand through your hair, they'll do it too.
So he reminded us not to drink, swear or do anything in front of players that we do not wish to see replicated. That includes arguing with game officials.
His kids are all grown now, but he can't quite get away from this mentoring thing. He still has things to teach his fellow coaches. Like when a child is injured, don't let the others see your fear. Like if you tell parents you will end practice at 6 p.m., respect their time and end at 6 p.m., because "if you have the parent, you have the player."
It's addictive. It's worth staying involved in. "It keeps me young,'' he said.
[Last modified: Sep 04, 2008 04:32 AM]
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