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Guest column | Mary Partington

Bewildered and hot about panty hose

As an old song says, Bewitched, bothered and bewildered, am I.

Of the three words, I am probably more bewildered about what is going on in our world. I try to find answers, but there are some situations that just leave me shaking my head in bewilderment.

I am bewildered about the overuse of the word "got." When did "got" become a part of everyone's speech? How many times do you hear "I've got"? The contraction "I've" is "I have." Why don't we say, "I have a new car," instead of, "I've got a new car''? Does this bother anyone else? Listen for it. It is part of everyday speech.

I'm bewildered about why I have to use a seat belt. I can get a ticket for not wearing one. Motorcycle riders do not even need to wear a helmet. Seat belts are uncomfortable but I would wear one even if the law did not mandate it.

Motorcycle riders argued for the ability to forgo a helmet and the Legislature allowed it. Is the Legislature more concerned about my safety in an automobile than if I am riding a motorcycle? Do they love car passengers more than they love motorcycle riders?

I'm bewildered about health maintenance organizations. It can be agreed that HMOs are there to deny coverage for our medical needs. HMOs are the brunt of jokes and rants. So, what has the Congress just created with the new health care legislation? A huge HMO called the federal government. In order to control costs, the feds will have to limit coverage.

I'm bewildered about cigarettes. Smoking is a bad habit and I quit years ago. It makes your breath bad, causes cancer, and secondhand smoke is just as unhealthy. States rely on the tobacco settlement of years past and on cigarette taxes for revenue. If no one smokes, no tax revenue. Cigarettes and the taxes they generate help fund our government. Does this seem peculiar to anyone else?

I'm bewildered about proposed marijuana legislation. Voters in the state of California will consider a referendum in November to legalize marijuana. The idea is that selling marijuana will help get the state out of its financial trouble. Smoking cigarettes causes cancer and marijuana has more cancer-causing ingredients than cigarettes. Marijuana slows the maturation process in young smokers. What makes it right for a state to generate money at the costs of the citizens' health?

I'm bewildered about BP. The gulf oil crisis is appalling. It is going to take eons to clean up the mess. It is going to cost billions of dollars for the cleanup and to compensate injured parties. British Petroleum is promising to make everything right, as it should. While it is at fault, care must be taken not to force the company into bankruptcy. A bankrupt BP is not a paying BP.

I'm bewildered about global warming. Global warming is a fact. As a student in Michigan, we would take field trips to mounds of glacier residue. There were no cars, factories or hair spray when the glaciers covered Michigan. What caused the melting of those glaciers, dinosaur flatulence?

I am most bewildered by the decline of wearing panty hose. Yes, in the Florida heat, panty hose are uncomfortable. But, in my opinion, shoes are more comfortable with panty hose on. I think a mature leg looks better with sheer coverage.

Since panty hose are uncomfortable, a genius has come up with a product that simulates the top of panty hose for giving shape to the tummy area. The faults of this shaper are that it costs much more that a pair of panty hose and is just as uncomfortable and hot.

The late Charlton Heston once spoke about taking guns out of his cold dead hand. I feel the same about my panty hose.

Mary Partington lives in New Port Richey.

Bewildered and hot about panty hose 07/01/10 [Last modified: Wednesday, July 7, 2010 4:26pm]
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