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Column: Here are three ways prolife men can help women

 
Published April 5, 2016

Last week another man who claims to be prolife made an incredibly insensitive and stupid comment. Although Donald Trump has since reversed his position, he said women who obtain an abortion should be punished in some fashion. This ridiculous statement is right up there with former Missouri Rep. Todd Akin's claim that victims of "legitimate rape" rarely get pregnant.

1. LET WOMEN TAKE THE LEAD WHEN TALKING TO OTHER WOMEN ABOUT PROLIFE ISSUES. Women can understand what other women with crisis pregnancies are going through.

Unfortunately, men like Trump and Akin help perpetuate one of the abortion debate's greatest myths: that prolife supporters are just a bunch of old white men who want to control women's bodies and keep them down. But if you take a close look at the leadership of the prolife community, you'll find a large number of extraordinary women. Let's start with Alveda King, the niece of Martin Luther King Jr. and active in two prolife organizations. Another prominent prolife leader is Abby Johnson, a former award-winning clinic director for Planned Parenthood. And there are many more. King and Johnson both acknowledge and regret their own past abortions — they are speaking from experience.

2. OFFER SUPPORT, RATHER THAN CRITICISM, FOR WOMEN FACING CRISIS PREGNANCIES. Criticizing a woman who is already under stress with an unexpected pregnancy comes across as arrogant and insensitive. The most dedicated people in the prolife movement have compassion for women experiencing unexpected pregnancies and only seek to help them.

Up to three-fourths of women who seek abortions do so because they lack the financial means to support a baby, or because they believe having the baby will disrupt their education or career. Many crisis pregnancy centers offer adoption referral services, childbirth and parenting classes, and material help such as diapers, formula and clothing.

Feminists for Life works to bring day care centers to college campuses so that women don't have to choose between completing their education and having their children. Finally, if you want to support women in crisis pregnancies, don't make harsh cuts to government programs that provide a safety net for poor single mothers. Prolife men, please put your money where your mouth is on this issue.

3. PROMOTE A CULTURE OF RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD. Studies show that women who believe they cannot rely on their partner to help care for their children are more likely to have abortions. Not only that, some studies indicate that up to 70 percent of men facing unexpected pregnancies will pressure their partners to obtain abortions. The widespread use of birth control, the availability of abortion, and changing cultural expectations about premarital sex have allowed men to take the position that crisis pregnancies are strictly women's problems. Men can speak to other men about making responsible choices to avoid unexpected pregnancies or providing support when their partners become pregnant.

Of course, I know many prolife men who are extremely compassionate and who offer support to women in crisis pregnancies by their actions as well as their words. And women undoubtedly bear their share of responsibility when an unexpected pregnancy occurs.

But if you claim to be a prolife man, yet seem to offer only criticism to women in crisis, don't expect anyone to listen.

Michelle Daniel Chadwick is an attorney and writer who lives in Dallas. © 2016 Dallas Morning News