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Day: We must work together to stop violence against women (w/video)

 
Afghan women who cannot return to their homes live in a shelter run by Women for Afghan Women in Kabu. About 35 percent of women worldwide said they had experienced violence in their lifetime, whether physical, sexual, or both, a United Nations analysis found.
Afghan women who cannot return to their homes live in a shelter run by Women for Afghan Women in Kabu. About 35 percent of women worldwide said they had experienced violence in their lifetime, whether physical, sexual, or both, a United Nations analysis found.
Published March 21, 2015

Sally Ride conquered space. Margaret Thatcher led a nation. Sheryl Sandberg cracked the uppermost ranks of the technology industry. And Oprah is, well, Oprah.

Each of these women's accomplishments are worthy of praise, particularly during this month that honors women's history. But despite women's gains, a surprising share of the world's female population faces violence every day.

This month, the United Nations issued a disturbing analysis on violence against women. Recent global studies show that 35 percent of women, more than one in three, have experienced physical violence in their lifetimes. This is not solely a problem in Third World or developing countries. More than 32 percent of women in high-income nations also have experienced violence. And most of the time, the women do not seek help or support.

There is no doubt that women have come a long way, but the fight is far from over. Malala Yousafzai won the Nobel Peace Prize because she took a bullet to the head from the Taliban, who targeted her for advocating for girls' education. Kayla Mueller's loving letter to her family captivated the world because she was kidnapped in Syria and killed in captivity. And nearly 300 Nigerian schoolgirls sparked the social media campaign #BringBackOurGirls because they were kidnapped by Boko Haram last April. Most still aren't back, by the way. Word is that they are being married off or used as suicide bombers.

One of the main obstacles to ending violence against women is the stubborn persistence of cultural mores and discriminatory attitudes from both genders. According to the U.N. report, 21 percent of women in 37 developing countries believe it is okay for a husband to beat his wife if she argues with him. That figure is higher if the wife is believed to have neglected the children. A recent study of European Union states found that 52 percent of respondents said that women's behavior triggered violence against them.

Excuse me, but isn't it 2015?

In the fight to keep women safe, it seems, it's often two steps forward and three steps back. Many countries have enacted laws to protect their female citizens. But implementation is uneven, if law enforcement takes complaints seriously at all. The lack of safety nets for women who consider leaving violent situations also presents a challenge.

The United States is flush with examples of a society that is soft on abusers and swift to foist blame on women. On Valentine's Day 2014, for example, former Baltimore Ravens' running back Ray Rice and his then-fiancee battered each other on a hotel elevator. Rice clearly had the upper hand, knocking his fiancee unconscious and dragging her from the elevator. Rice eventually overcame a league suspension, married his fiancee and is now a free agent looking to sign with another team.

Closer to home, a bay area woman accused Florida State University quarterback Jameis Winston of raping her in late 2013. A botched police investigation ensures that the public will never know exactly what happened. But for the woman, the victim-blaming by FSU students, fans and the general public was fast and ferocious. No wonder more women don't report violent behavior.

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To understand how pervasive cultural acceptance of the belittlement of female safety is, one need only look at a recent incident in a Pinellas County middle school in which a girl complained of a sexual attack by a classmate. The action was initially characterized as the behavior of a "jokester." Prosecutors declined to pursue criminal charges, and the boy was suspended for his role in the incident. But the whole thing might never have happened if other students made it clear that such behavior was inappropriate.

We can do more than throw up our hands in despair.

We should teach our sons and daughters what abuse against women looks like in its more violent forms, such as rape and murder, and its subtler iterations such as name-calling, inappropriate touching and cyber-bullying. We must compel them to call out questionable behavior when they see it.

We should stop supporting musicians whose work is misogynistic. And we must police ourselves and our circles of influence when our language is divisive or when our thoughts tend toward victim-blaming. This is how we collectively change a worldwide plague: one attitude at a time.

And if we suspect a friend or family member is a victim of domestic violence, experts say we should approach them once they are away from harm and point out specific instances of violent behaviors that we observed. Experts say it is important to encourage victims to seek help but to remain supportive regardless of their decision.

Eradicating violence against women is not a girl thing. It's a worldwide human rights issue that deserves to be embraced by all people. It's past time we stamped it out.

Sherri Day is a member of the Times' editorial board.