Wednesday, April 25, 2018
Opinion

Dreaming of an uninterrupted meal

This guy shot his gun in the air and demanded all my money. This was very inconvenient because I was in the middle of an expensive meal at a fancy restaurant which was filled with people enjoying their dinners.

"Take all your cash and tape it to your head," he ordered. "I will stand at the entrance and as you file out I will take the money. You may then walk away and proceed with your peaceful lives."

My first thought was that I didn't have any tape. Looking around I observed the other patrons took out rolls of tape and attached their bills to their heads, stood and headed for the door. They seemed relaxed about the entire situation as though they had been through this sort of thing before. I didn't eat in fancy restaurants often so I didn't know if this happened all the time or not.

My second thought was that I didn't have enough money to pay for both my meal and my ransom. If I was going to be killed, I might as well go to my Maker with a full stomach, I decided, and continued to eat my food. Also, I wondered that if I hunched over and was quiet perhaps the armed robber would not notice me. That didn't work out because when everyone else left, it was obvious I was indeed still there. However, one other man, sitting at an adjacent table, had stayed to finish his plate, too. I leaned over to whisper to him.

"Excuse me," I asked him, "but doesn't this seem like an odd predicament?"

"It probably is an odd predicament but not too terribly alarming," he replied as he took his last bite of food and wiped his mouth with the linen napkin. "After all, I'm a young healthy man and capable of earning back in a relatively short period of time any money I lose tonight."

It was at that point I realized he was quite a few years younger than me and in the prime of life. On the other hand, I was 65 years old and my prospects of earning more money were considerably diminished. If the guy with the gun showed up at very many more establishments where I was eating, I wouldn't have any money left at all. "Pardon me," the young man said as he stood. "I have to give that gentleman my cash. Have a nice day."

Looking around I hoped to find another exit so I could slip out the back way without the gunman spotting me. As was my luck, the restaurant ignored the fire codes and only had the one door. So now I was down to it. My choices: Stiff the restaurant and pay the gunman or pay the bill and let him harm me.

I don't know what I did because my wife woke me up and told me I had a doctor's appointment. I taped my money to my head and drove to his office.

Jerry Cowling is a free-lance writer and storyteller living in Brooksville.

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