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Joe Henderson: At son's wedding, memories of child-rearing build to a perfect moment

 
Heather McNeill married fellow Strawberry Crest High teacher Ben Henderson on a secluded beach in the U.S. Virgin Islands. “They wanted something totally theirs,” says Ben’s dad Joe Henderson. “I think they had their parents in mind, as well.”
Heather McNeill married fellow Strawberry Crest High teacher Ben Henderson on a secluded beach in the U.S. Virgin Islands. “They wanted something totally theirs,” says Ben’s dad Joe Henderson. “I think they had their parents in mind, as well.”
Published July 27, 2017

On a secluded beach known as Hawksnest on St. John in the U.S. Virgin Islands, a bride-to-be named Heather McNeill hurried along a wooded path to meet the man she was about to marry.

That man is Ben Henderson, the first of my two sons.

He was staring out at the rippling waters of Hawksnest Bay in what seemed to be a final few moments of quiet reflection. It was a little after 5 p.m. on July 17. A few clouds dotted the Caribbean sky. It was as warm as you would expect in the summer, but the humidity had begun to subside.

The immediate families were there to watch a man they call Island Mike officiate the service. There was my wife, Elaine, and youngest son Patrick. Heather's parents, Chris and Heidi, were there, along with son Cody and a feisty fireball of a grandma named Jean. She's a total hoot.

Heather and Ben were the stars of this show.

Let me tell you a little bit about this love story.

They both teach at Strawberry Crest High School. Heather teaches math— hence, the 7/17/17 at 1700 hours choice for her wedding. Ben teaches English and is the head coach for cross country and track. Heather has coached as well, and it seemed everyone at the Crest knew these two should be together.

They both love football. Heather is a Florida Gator.

Heather is Type A, maybe A-plus.

Ben, like his old man, is Type B.

That has led to some compromises.

Even though Ben ran cross country and track at Brandon High and Winthrop University, he swore he would never run a half-marathon. He meant it. Then Heather came along. She wanted to run the Gasparilla half marathon last February.

Guess who ran beside her?

They dated for a year or so, and it was basically understood they would eventually marry. Standing on that beach and waiting for the ceremony to begin, the thought occurred that the universe had matched these two from the start. Heather is the woman Ben waited his whole life to find.

Parents, if your kids have found their soul mates, then you know what I am about to say is true.

It was like the wedding scene was playing out to the soundtrack of Sunrise, Sunset from Fiddler on the Roof. Where was that little boy at play?

You flash to memories of when they were born, or growing up. You remember skinned knees, baseball and soccer games, cross country meets, and the time Ben's mother stood and cried when we backed the car out of the driveway on the way to college in Rock Hill, S.C.

Now, here he was, holding the hand of a radiant woman who was about to promise to love him forever.

Why choose St. John and the Virgin Islands for their wedding? Well, why not? They wanted something different. They wanted something totally theirs. I think they had their parents in mind, as well.

Heather's dad had never been on a plane before. Elaine and I likely never would have made this trek on our own. We needed a little push. The happy couple knew we all would experience something that makes living worthwhile.

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The tide was coming in as Ben and Heather made their promises to each other. It was lapping near the white sand where they stood. Ben stared into Heather's eyes and placed the ring upon her finger, and that little boy at play became a married man.

If you're married, you understand life is not all beaches and waterfront sunsets. But in that moment, as the sun reflected off the water and dipped toward the horizon in the west, I finally understood what "perfect" means.