Making sense of some laws is futile

“Good evening officer. Did I do something wrong?"

"Would you mind stepping out of the car, please, sir?"

"Of course. What's going on?"

"Do you have any proof of citizenship, sir?"

"No, why?"

"I can't help noticing, sir, that you look, well, a little Canadian, and since I've stopped you, you have been very polite, leading me to wonder if, in fact, you are. You have white skin, fair hair and blue eyes. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to empty your pockets … uh-huh … just as I thought … colored money and hockey tickets."

"But I'm from Schenectady."

"Oh yeah? Say 'house.' "

"Ummmm ... hoose?"

"Please put your hands behind your head, sir ... Dispatch … we've got another one."

THAT'S when I will believe Arizona's new anti-immigrant (read, anti-brown or anti-olive skinned immigrant) law makes any sense.

Nobody, but nobody, is going to get stopped under that law unless he or she is brown-skinned or olive-skinned or wearing a hijab or turban.

Oh well … it ought to cut down on Driving While Black stops for a while.

Let's see, census takers are hassling people in San Antonio, which had a pro-census drive so active that the tiny Pasco community and its city clerk, Barbara Sessa, were featured in the New York Times. But census takers started showing up and accusing people of not turning in their forms. (I received two forms, three days apart and discarded the second one. Was that a mistake? Was I supposed to be counted twice?)

Gee, this is fun.

I had forgotten what a gold mine of material government can be.

In Pasco County, and other places, officials are mulling possible cuts in county veterans services operations. Pasco has more than 54,000 veterans. Add in their family members, and about 135,000 citizens could be affected by any cuts.

I have used that service, and you don't have to be a genius to know how valuable it is to have help in dealing with the ins and outs of federal bureaucracy. I know there are some tough decisions being made at the county level as commissioners and administrators try to deal with decreased revenues, and I know that everyone has a favorite service or office they don't want to see cut.

Let's just call this one mine? Okay?

It is with the help of that office and the VA that I now have nearly normal hearing. I appreciated that more before I saw and heard the ad with an Alabama gubernatorial candidate declaring: "This is Alabama. We speak English."

(No, I'm not going for the easy shot here. I have friends from Alabama and some of them are frequently armed … so let's just say what they speak there is English.)

I guess it is more important to avoid multiculturalism than to ensure that people driving on your roads actually know what they are doing. And, to be fair, Alabama actually does have a law making English its official language.

Let's see … oh yeah … at this writing Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan is taking grief for her support of a (eventually unsuccessful) ban on military recruiters on college campuses because the services discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation.

Well … they do, don't they?

My input? (And I fully expect it to be treated with the same level of respect all of my input has received over the last three-plus decades.)

All "official language" laws should be void unless they are written in Choctaw, or some other language spoken by the people who were here first when a bunch of lost white guys started showing up without visas and taking over their country.

Unless everyone is ready to turn in their "Support the Troops" yellow ribbon decals that imply — usually in conjunction with other bumper stickers — that anyone who is against the war is also anti-troops, county veterans services should be uncut.

And, a final shot, the only profiling-oriented legislation I can support is the law I have been pleading for for years: one that bans straight, white men from dancing in public.

I mean, come on, have you SEEN us?

Making sense of some laws is futile 06/12/10 [Last modified: Saturday, June 12, 2010 11:16am]

© 2014 Tampa Bay Times

    

Join the discussion: Click to view comments, add yours

Loading...