Friday, November 24, 2017

Politics in the land of make-believe


First reaction to Rick Scott's public relations people creating a fake Miami Herald headline and photo on the governor's Facebook page:

Who's still reading mainstream media?

Second reaction:

Can I try that?

Governor Sells the Florida Keys; Ocala Up Next

LAS VEGAS — Thwarted by the Legislature in previous attempts to privatize state assets, Gov. Rick Scott appeared on the popular History Channel program Pawn Stars Monday and sold the Florida Keys for what administration officials said was a "modest'' profit.

Scott acknowledged the move might upset environmentalists and "that drunk chick'' at Hog's Breath Saloon, but said the private sector could save money on law enforcement, education, the judicial system, road maintenance, code enforcement, local parks and EMS services.

"I promised I would cut government waste, and I meant it,'' Scott said, after posing for pictures with Chumlee and the Old Man. "Just see what happens to taxes down there.''

Key West leaders said they would have no comment until after happy hour.

President Obama Orders Democratic Strategist Be Deported

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Saying Hilary Rosen's misguided statements about Ann Romney and working mothers did not represent his views on re-election, President Barack Obama had the well-connected lobbyist and Democratic strategist deported.

When asked how a native of New Jersey could be deported, Obama replied:

"Have you ever seen her birth certificate?''

Rep. Allen West Says Congress Has Seven Dwarfs

BOCA RATON — A week after claiming 76 to 81 members of the House of Representatives were communists, U.S. Rep Allen West dropped another bombshell when he said he "heard'' seven dwarfs were also among his colleagues.

"Do I have firsthand knowledge of this? No, but I have heard someone singing Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho at odd hours of the night,'' West said. "You hear about one grumpy Democrat, and you dismiss it. You hear about a dopey Democrat, and you ignore it. But when you hear about a sneezy Democrat, you start to have your suspicions.''

The woodsman could not be reached for comment.

Gingrich Blames CNN and Liberal Media For Loss in One-Man Debate

ATLANTA — Republican presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich does not deny he lost to himself in a solo debate Monday evening, but claims CNN rigged the results.

Gingrich said he wanted to keep the debate's focus on the nation's economy and a balanced budget, but kept interrupting himself to criticize illegal immigrants, welfare babies, pansy gun control advocates and monogamous people.

"How am I supposed to win a debate when I can't accuse someone of being liberal,'' Gingrich asked. "No politician can do righteous indignation without any opponents, media or followers around. For crying out loud, I'm practically pleasant now.''

Former presidential candidate Rick Santorum said he would pray for whichever Gingrich actually lost.

John Romano can be reached at [email protected]


Editorial: St. Petersburg should revisit approach to historic preservation

St. Petersburg is headed down a slippery path in the name of historic preservation. After a group of 10 property owners in the Old Northeast neighborhood won approval earlier this year to become a one-block historic district, two more groups of neigh...
Updated: 1 hour ago

Editorial: Strengthening the ties that bind in Seminole Heights following 4 killings

During this weekend of giving thanks, let’s recognize the Seminole Heights community for remaining united and committed to their neighborhood as residents cope with the stress and fear following a series of murders. Their response as police continue ...
Updated: 1 hour ago
Editorial: Congress should help Florida agriculture recover from Irma

Editorial: Congress should help Florida agriculture recover from Irma

Florida agriculture took a beating in September from Hurricane Irma, which caused hundreds of millions of dollars in losses across the citrus, sugar, cattle and dairy industries. Yet despite a personal plea from Gov. Rick Scott, the Trump administrat...
Updated: 1 hour ago

Editorial: Senate should not repeal health insurance mandate to pay for tax cuts

There are all sorts of problems with the massive tax cut legislation the Senate is expected to vote on this week. Wealthy individuals and corporations benefit more than the poor and the middle class; by 2027, about half of all taxpayers would see a t...
Updated: 1 hour ago
Editorial: Ken Hagan should drop effort to recover attorney’s fees in ethics complaint

Editorial: Ken Hagan should drop effort to recover attorney’s fees in ethics complaint

Hillsborough County Commissioner Ken Hagan says he’s standing on principle in his effort to collect $7,800 spent defending him against ethics charges that eventually were dismissed.If so, it’s the wrong principle. But Hagan’s strident position rings ...
Updated: 3 hours ago

Another voice: Wall isn’t a lifesaver, it’s a boondoggle

The first stage of President Donald Trump’s controversial border wall project ended last week, while the prospects for any more construction — and even what type of wall — remain uncertain.A Border Patrol agent was killed and his partner seriously wo...
Published: 11/21/17
Updated: 11/22/17

Another voice: Time for Republicans to denounce this tax nonsense

Mick Mulvaney, the phony deficit hawk President Donald Trump tapped to oversee the nation’s budget, all but admitted on Sunday that the GOP tax plan currently before the Senate is built on fiction. Senators from whom the public should expect more — s...
Published: 11/20/17
Updated: 11/21/17
Editorial: Florida should restore online access to nursing home inspections

Editorial: Florida should restore online access to nursing home inspections

In a state with the nation’s highest portion of residents over 65 years old and more than 80,000 nursing home beds, public records about those facilities should be as accessible as possible. Yet once again, Florida is turning back the clock to the da...
Published: 11/20/17

Another voice: A time of reckoning on sexual misconduct

Stories about powerful men engaging in sexual misconduct are becoming so common that, as with mass shootings, the country is in danger of growing inured to them. But unlike the tragic news about that latest deranged, murderous gunman, the massive out...
Published: 11/20/17

Another voice: Trump does the right thing for elephants; he shouldn’t back down now

There is bad timing, and then there is this. Last week, an apparent military coup placed Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe in custody, ushering in a new period of political uncertainty. A few days later, the Trump administration announced that Zimba...
Published: 11/19/17
Updated: 11/22/17