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Ruth: Republicans can't get with the program

 
Conventioneers boo as Ted Cruz speaks at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland on Wednesday night. That discordant note, the plagiarism controversy, linking Hillary Clinton to Satan — it all added up to a sour spectacle.
Conventioneers boo as Ted Cruz speaks at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland on Wednesday night. That discordant note, the plagiarism controversy, linking Hillary Clinton to Satan — it all added up to a sour spectacle.
Published July 22, 2016

Well, that was fun. This wasn't really a gathering of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland. It was a full cluster Trump.

Or consider the Animal House toga party was a pillar of Swiss watch-like precision compared to the political mud wrestling that took place along the scenic shores of Lake Erie over the past few days.

A political convention has a very simple mission. Both the Republicans and Democrats are given four days of headline-grabbing free publicity across the nation's airwaves to present their candidate in the most glowing of lights amid their admiring and unified supporters. How hard should this really be?

If orchestrated properly, the conventions are a symbol of democracy and a patriotic political theater slice of Americana.

And yes, it is certainly true the conventions also expose a campaign's organizational skills, the ability to deliver a coherent message and the discipline to keep everyone on the same page. It's supposed to be a love-fest, not an anger management group therapy session.

Yet Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, who prides himself on ruling over a vast multibillion-dollar business empire, could not assert firm control over what would be considered in his financial universe a Catholic parish bingo night.

Even the famously teetotaling nominee would be forgiven if after the festivities concluded in Cleveland he retired to his private jet in the company of a case of his Trump wine and a straw for the trip back to New York.

Let us count the ways the Trump camp engaged in political malfeasance that made Groucho Marx's Rufus T. Firefly administration in Freedonia look like Camelot.

The failure to properly vet Melania Trump's opening night speech, which included plagiarized portions of remarks delivered by Michelle Obama eight years ago, set off two days of embarrassing finger-pointing, denials and absurdist dissembling that was a needless distraction and only wasted precious time.

While it is more than fair game to attack Democratic Party presidential nominee Hillary Clinton's record — and there's plenty to attack — the convention seemed more irrationally preoccupied with sizing her up for a prison jumpsuit than promoting the agenda of its own nominee. It's a wonder Madame Defarge wasn't given a speaking slot.

Lyin' Hillary. Fine. And dandy, too. But then former presidential candidate Ben Carson attempted to link the Democratic standard-bearer to Satan, predicated on the fact that as a college student Clinton had known Chicago community organizer Saul Alinsky, who once wrote a book titled Rules for Radicals, which included a opening blurb citing Lucifer, as well as Thomas Paine. Ergo — Alinsky referenced Beelzebub 45 years ago. Clinton knew Alinsky. Therefore Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton must be influenced in some way by the Antichrist.

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"Think about that," Carson intoned. And indeed the thought might arise that the Saul Alinsky — to Lucifer — to Hillary Clinton connection is a trifecta of stupid.

But the biggest Trump self-inflicted Wile E. Coyote Acme land mine moment had to be inviting former rival Texas Sen. Ted Cruz to speak in prime time. And to be sure, the Brutus of the Brazos delivered a speech in which he pointedly stabbed his party's nominee in the back.

Great consternation ensued. Cruz was booed off the stage and vilified for his treachery, including by New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, who scorned the senator's disloyalty. This was odd, since Christie didn't get around to mentioning Mitt Romney's name during his 2012 keynote convention speech until he was almost finished speaking — about himself.

Please, everyone knew the cravenly ambitious Ted Cruz is one of the most reviled members of the U.S. Senate. Did anyone honestly believe Cruz was going to make nice-nice with a rival who had viciously attacked him on the campaign trail and belittled his wife? And besides, it is not as if Cruz had betrayed St. Thomas Becket. The senator had merely double-crossed a pol whose own history of deceiving people, such as the Trump University chumps and numerous business partners, is well documented. Would it surprise anyone if the Trump family crest included crossed fingers?

Then there was the bumptious candidate himself, who delivered a fabulist fearmongering "We're all doomed!" isolationist acceptance speech. Somewhere Vladimir Putin was gazing upon the candidate with a fond, "You go Donald!" There have been 18 Republican presidents and Trump opted to be inspired by Richard Nixon's darkest instincts? Where's Clint Eastwood when you really need him?

And so now it is on to Philadelphia and the Democratic convention this week. Or should we call it "The Sign of the Beast 2016"?