Wednesday, November 22, 2017
Editorials

Editorial: The rhyme of the greenhorn senator

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It lasted 21 hours and 19 minutes. When Republican Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas finally ended his tirade against President Barack Obama and the Affordable Care Act on Wednesday, the Senate moved on and voted to consider legislation that will be rewritten to try to avoid a government shutdown next week. Cruz's talk-a-thon was the fourth-longest Senate floor speech in more than a century and included a reading of Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham. In that spirit, here is our view of the tea party's favorite senator:

Do you like political greenhorns and verbose spam?

Do you not like Ted Cruz? You think he's a sham?

Would you like Ted Cruz anywhere but the Senate? Perhaps Iran?

You would not like this fulminating lamb. You would not like him here or there or even Afghanistan.

Do you like a pandering pol, so full of beans green who does not give a tinker's damn?

Do you like him when he filibuster speaks especially for hours at a peak?

Would you like him in the Senate? Certainly not the House? A mouse that roars to only hear himself grouse.

Would you like the yellow poseur of Texas? His rhetoric so reckless?

Would you say Ted Cruz does not like Obamacare? No, he does not. He could not. He will not, for there are tea party checks to cash and to clear. Ted Cruz knows there are campaign golden eggs to be found in exploiting fear.

Would you vote for a chicken hawk most overwrought? No more than you would vote for an ox in a knot?

Would you? Could you? In a car? In a bar? Or only on a far away star?

Would you think Ted Cruz sees the White House in his sights? But only in his dreams well into the nights.

Would you like his pitter-patter preening? You would not, not even in a GOP steaming. We will see. Do you like Ted Cruz and scam he am?

Would you like to listen as Ted Cruz talks and talks and talks and no one heeds? No one hardly ever does in a city of ambitious poltroons and their rambling screeds.

Would not you eat green egos and yammering? Would you not eat them here, or there? Would you certainly not eat them three years hence when Cruz pursues a presidential pretense?

Would you dine from a kitchen stocked with green dregs and flimflam? Would you? Could you? Would you eat them from a crock of Cruz? Would you?

Not in a Senate. Not in a House. You would not eat them anywhere. You do not like them, You do not like greenhorns and spam.

You're a savvy Uncle Sam, you am.

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